Tuesday, August 29, 2006

All Whacked on the Scooby Snacks

Anti-depressants: Side effects may include dry mouth, dizziness and jewelry store robbery.

I was interviewed by this guy for my job. I don't think I'm in trouble, since I mentioned I was engaged.

I wonder what he'd think of this: (Click on the Image to see it better)





(via Pharyngula)



Your Not Gay, nor Depressed leader.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Vampire Free for Several Months

I'd like to apologize for posting late at night. I'll try not to do it ever again.

I have a link to a new web comic, Ask Dr. Eldritch, which is a weird as the name implies (There's a horny troll, and a horny robot, and a horny interdimensional monster hunter ... you get the idea), but I'd ask you to also check out the main page which links to Dr. Eldritch's day job; advice columnist for those who are beset by ghosts, vampires, goblins and other para-normal, super- or preter-natural problems. Really an invaluable resource, wouldn't you agree?

Usually, school principals are snivelling bald piles of goo, but this one decided to have some balls. I may not agree with dress codes, but if you have one, it had better be enforced.

I don't know if Spotty's dealt with her yet, but Katie has made an incredible discovery; Family vacations are good stuff! She (of course) derides that a study was done on the subject by calling it common sense, but that makes me wonder, Is it really better to write a column about a study than to release the study to begin with? But remember, it's only a real "family" vacation if the parents are a married man and woman. Everything else is detrimental to society, no matter how much fun you think you're having.

Your Pull Up Your Pants leader.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Late ... So Late ...

For some reason I agreed to work an overnight shift at work, with only a week to go. I guess it was so I could go to the Fair earlier, as well as a couple of weddings tomorrow. And because I'm stupid.

I'm thinking that if I mention Kristin Stinar here again, I'll be the first link in Google when someone decides to search for "kristin stinar blogs" again in the future. (Update 8/30/06: Yep, I am)


Hi, person searching for "kristin stinar blogs." Look around. Drop me an e-mail. If you actually are Kristin Stinar, stroking your ego by googling for yourself (as we all often do), I'm sorry to tell you that no matter how smokin' hot you are, I am engaged to be married. And a lot of your work is sensationalist bull-flop.

Enough of that.

I recently took a certain psychological test for a job with a certain police department. While all of these tests have outrageously wierd questions ("Do you ever hear voices while alone in the dark?" Of course not. Only when I am in indirect sunlight), I was surprised by one of them in particular.

The question was true-false: "A woman's place is in the home." I will add that of the 12 people in the room, 5 of them were women. Now, this question struck me as inherently sexist, considering that it is self-evident that no woman applying for a job believes that her place is in the home. Therefore the question was not meant for women, which means that this test for police officers assumed that no women would be taking it. Now, I don't see sexism everywhere, but let no one assault my feminist credentials completely.

Because I can never pass up a good googlebombing, here's a link to a debunking ofThe Politically Incorrect Guide to Darwinism and Intelligent Design by one Jonathan Wells. I'm always willing to help out a good cause.

Finally, I'm planning to put up some of my old writings from various places here, to save them for myself, because I find them amusing. I'll clearly mark them as old, and put the date I originally wrote them. enjoy.

Your Not That Crazy leader.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

A Beautiful Faire (Plus Thursday Monkey Blogging)

Today if the first day of the Minnesota State Fair, which leads to some of the best Common Man bits outside of Vikings losses. I love live, on-location radio. I'll be there tomorrow.

Finally, the FDA has approved Plan B. Mostly. Anyway, anyone interested in spreading the news should check out the T-Shirts being sold by Bitch Ph.D.

Damn you, astronomy lobby! I was hoping to have a great line for my kids, and now they will have to do with fewer planets. Also, Dwarf Planet is offensive. "Little Person" planet, please!

And though it's against my nature, here's a cute story about Tiny Monkeys. Also, this will be the only Thursday Monkey Blogging I'll be doing. I'll find another Day Blogging to do next time.

Your Random Update leader.

Friday, August 18, 2006

They Make Take Our Swords....

Hi.

I'm ambivalent on the banning of guns. But this is just ridiculous.

They are certainly among the range of weapons that are used by people. This reduces their availability except for legitimate reasons. I think if it saves one life or permanent disfigurement it is worthwhile. - RUDI CRAWFORD, A & E CONSULTANT


I must say however, they are allowing swords to be kept for "religious, cultural or sporting purposes," which means that the country will be overrun with sword wielding, permanently disfigured Presbyterians and Druids. A result which I am neither strongly for nor against.

For Ollie Ox, and the rest of you who may be college professors or teachers, here's a primer on how to plagiarize. But not really. The comments include more tips, as well as an argument as to whether the statement "The only people allowed to use the word “colour” are those with Indian surnames" is discriminatory. To which the author answers yes, "because I am an evil imperialist pig and consumed by dark forces."

Aren't we all. (via Millard Fillmore's Bathtub)

Finally, for those of you who fear Big Brother, stay out of the library. First things first: I work at the library, but I do not speak for the library.

Now, I met the smokin' hot Kristin Stinar when she came in, and she's even more smokin' hot in person. This doesn't excuse the fact that the majority of our bathrooms have no cameras, not "a few" a she said. I'd also like to ask her if people might feel "uncomfortable" being secretly filmed by, oh, I don't know, an investigative news team.

I agree that signs indicating surveillance are a good idea, if for nothing more than a deterrent. I just wish we could have shown the video of a homeless guy washing his feet in the sink. It's stuff like that we're able to stop with cameras.

Your Braveheart leader.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Minnesota Sports

The pre-season is about to begin. Of course I'm talking about football. (Or as the Affiliate would say, foobaw!!!) Not to mention that the Twins are in an exciting wild-card race (yes, I just said that).

We'll see how the Vikes are this year. I know all the negativity in this town sucks, but I'll put them at 9-7, with a shot at the playoffs in the dismal NFC Nort'.

Oh, and, um, bad DFL! Endorsement not good idea. Luther and Swanson not able off ballot. Let primary voter decide. Now too late for Kelley. No endorsed candidate ever win.

Sorry. I'm not up for intelligent political analysis after the Affiliate's family reunion.

Your Purple leader.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

The End of an Era?

Well, I don't know much about Ned Lamont or Joe Lieberman, but from what I hear about Connecticut, I may move there. (Link is not work safe)

Anyway, I'm really here to mention that the Affiliate and I are now engaged. My plans for a grand romantic proposal were thrown to the wind, but I did surprise the hell out of her, so I'll take that as a win.

We're not actually getting married for a while, but go ahead and write down 6/7/08 on a piece of paper, so that when you get a 2008 calendar, you can save the date.

Here's a pic.



Aren't we just so cute!!!!!

Your Nice Knowin' Ya leader.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Wrong Again, Liberal Media

A Truthful Voice has something to say. His name is putatively George McClure.

The mainstream media in this country are dominated by liberals.

I was informed of this fact by Rush Limbaugh. And Thomas Sowell. And Ann Coulter. And Rich Lowry. And Bill O'Reilly. And William Safire. And Robert Novak. And William F. Buckley, Jr. And George Will.


Of course it's true. Because the Right has no control over the media. They especially don't own any of them. Oh, wait:
Just for the sake of argument, let's assume that the media in America really are predominantly recalcitrant leftists. Say you're a conservative media mogul named Rupert and you have the wherewithal to do something about it. Here are three paths you might take:

1. You could announce your belief that the reporting of news is always subjective and therefore biased, so you are going to start a news network that comes at things from your own perspective in order to balance out what you perceive to be the bias of the left.

2. You could set up your own news network that actually is fair and balanced.

3. You could set up your own news network that's consistently and demonstrably partisan, but call yourself fair and balanced


The whole thing is a decent read.

Monday, August 07, 2006

True Love



I'm pretty sure the Affiliate and I have had this exact conversation.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Quiz Failure, Yet Again

Damn those Gear Daddies!

I tried. I really tried. And yet, the "5 Stooges" were unable to break the top 50% at the MNSpeak Pub Quiz. Just to pimp, we had rew, Noah, Soren and some guy named Just Plain Bob, plus me, your friendly neighborhood DiscordianStooge. My biggest contribution was recognizing "Hands Open" by Snow Patrol, although I did name Dylan's "It Ain't Me Babe" in 2 notes.

We were the suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked.

Also, I almost went over the line with my snark. When the quizmaster told us he was done making Israel/Lebanon jokes, I added that it was because they bombed.

Your Quiz not-leader.