I Palindrome I

I've been tagged by Free Mind Joe. Let's knock this out.

1. All right, here are the rules.
2. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
3. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
4. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
5. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

1. I like to watch TV, but I have also been known to watch movies and read books from time to time. I also listen to music.

2. I tend to sleep from 6 to 10 hours a night, depending on my work and social schedule.

3. I was gestated for approximately 9 months by a female human being before I was born.

4. Throughout the day, I eat food and drink various liquids for sustenance.

5. As a child, I found myself getting smarter as the years went by. My vocabulary vastly improved from when I was one year old to when I was 10.

6. I tend to wear a lot more clothing in the winter when it's cold than in summer.

7. I have friends and family members that I care about a lot.

8. I said members in that last point. He he.

Your Really Average Human leader.

I Will Try Not To Dream

I've been a bit sluggish lately. Maybe I should get some of this stuff.



I thought only Americans did this kind of shit. Interestingly, according to that story you can't name your child Satan or Hitler if you live in the South Pacific, because they're offensive names. I hope Jayden is on that list, because that's a pretty offensive name too.



Let your kids read this, and it doesn't matter what you named them, you're a bad parent.

You can let them read this part. This is something people should know.

I have to bring the Hillock's urine to the vet now. Oh, joy.

If your downtown Big Time Minneapolis this weekend, keep an eye out for me.

Your ENERGY!!!!!!!!!!! leader.

She Blinded Me With Science

Pluto can't get a break. I just wish that Eris could have caused some problems for the other planets and started some sort of planetary war.

Maybe she's starting with the Space Station. They should be searching that thing for a golden apple.

On the opposite end of science, Scientoligists bought the old Science Museum. Religion is based on fiction. It's not usually based on science fiction. "Scientology is the study and handling of the spirit in relationship to itself, others and all of life," according to the Church of Scientology Web site. Yeah. What they said. At least the Science Museum still exists. We'll need it to deal with this new religion bullshit.

Speaking of the Science Museum, let's hope this Darwin Exhibit comes here, if for no other reason than to get religious nuts all up in arms.

When this happens to me, I can only hope they're a good looking couple. They won't be.

I start Downtown on mid-shift Sunday night. Wish me luck.

Your Kallisti leader.

Gotta Get Me Some of that Jelly Doughnut

I was able to catch the 2nd "Last Concert" of 3 Minute Hero last night at the Fine Line. It's a local ska band that played back in the late 90's, when there was such thing as ska bands. They broke up in 2000, and as I recall I was only able to see them play once or twice, being as I was under 21 at the time.

It brought me back to my college days, and also reminded me of how much fun a ska concert can be. The opening band was called Chicken Poodle Soup. Apart from being shocked that a ska band actually formed in 2004 (I thought they were banned after 1999), they were also pretty good.

I'm not a big nostalgia guy, but sometimes it gets me.

Your Horns Standing By leader.

The Telephone Doesn't Scare Me Anymore

So, Soros Sock-Puppet Jeff over at Blog of the Moderate Left has been making comics with StripCreator for a little while. Being that I just steal ideas from others (ideas that are already stolen in most cases, I might add, making me some kind of second or third-hand thief. Really, it's like stealing from the Salvation Army - I'm a horrible person), I thought I'd give it a shot. Then I found out I had no idea how to post the damn things on Blogger. So I asked Jeff how. He told me, and I still couldn't figure it out. My technical kung-fu is not the best.

So yesterday, what do I see but this cartoon at BOML. I thought it looked familiar. It was similar to one I had just made. Now, my cartoon has been visible to anyone who knows about strip creator for about a week now. I think Jeff may have gone and stolen my idea that I got from stealing his idea that he got who knows where. So I threatened the gnomes that live in my computer to teach me their eldritch wisdom so I could let you decide.



Notice the similar titles and action. Notice the dates of publication of Jeff's vs my comic. Notice how mine is so much funnier.

It's on, Jeff. I'm traveling through these tubes to find you. And my gnomes are thirsty for blood (because that's what I promised them).

Your I Did It leader.

Is That All You've Got?

I'm not a scientist. I also listen to right-wing nutjobs on the radio quite often. So when people like Jason Lewis make what sound like reasonable arguments about global warming or evolution, I say to myself, "That sounds reasonable, but it's coming from Jason Fucking Lewis, so I'm sure it's a myth." But I realize I can't rebut the arguments.

PZ Myers to the rescue! He put up a couple of links to answer the common assertions made by people who don't know what they're talking about. This is useful for anyone who doesn't have the time to read all of the scientific articles. Of course, it requires us to trust the scientific community, but when given a choice between scientists and radio talk-show hosts, I think you know who to go with.

An Index to Creationist Claims

How to Talk to a Climate Skeptic

Your It's Just Plain Science leader.

The Labels Continue

Your Score: Pure Nerd

78 % Nerd, 39% Geek, 26% Dork

For The Record:



A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.



You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd.



The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.



Congratulations!


Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

The best part is, I did this test and post on The Affiliate's new laptop. This thing is seriously huge. A 17" screen huge. And wireless internet is awesome.

Take the test. If you score nerd or geek, you'll probably fit in quite well at Drinking Liberally. 331 Club in NE Minneapolis. Be there and be square!

Your Simpson's Quote leader.

Trying to Stem the Tide

Shorter Leslee Unruh: "BIG PHARMA! PLAYING GOD! I WANT BABIES! NARAL HATES BABIES! BIG PHARMA! BIG PHARMA!"

That's a great argument, by the way. It does unfortunately come from the Left a lot as well, but just yelling out the name of some bogeyman doesn't actually make a case.

Unruh is asked specifically why birth control that stops periods is more dangerous than other forms of birth control. Her response, is that it's a "war on women" and that NARAL is somehow forcing women to not be feminine. Which isn't an answer to any question that was asked. Later, she blatantly lies and says that the new pill will cause women to be permanently infertile. At least Cavuto calls her on the lie.

Unruh believes that allowing women to control when they have babies is controlling women. That's the strangest argument I've ever heard. Apparently in her world, the way to freedom is not actually allowing you to choose when you do anything.

As the interview goes on, Unruh just gets more and more nutty, finally just saying "I want more babies" over and over. Which is fine. She can have as many as she wants.

Voluntary birth control is a good thing. I really don't see the argument against that, and Unruh doesn't even attempt to make, well, any discernable case here. Which tends to be the case when it comes to people who are against birth control. Which is good, because when there's no case against it, more people will be for it.

Your Under Control leader.

Lukey's Boat is Painted Green

("Lukey's Boat" - Trad.)

The Cutty Sark burned down. The irony is, the guy who started the fire was drunk on Jameson. Actually, they haven't found the cause of the fire yet, but they might want to look into this.

There's a new American "Idol." Since I've heard a total of 1 song from an Idol participant, and none from a winner, in the last year, this shouldn't be as big of a deal as is being made of it. However, I did hear the winning song that the new winner has to sing. It sounded like something written by Phil Collins on tranquilizers after reading "The Secret." In other word, it's perfect for the mediocrity that is "Idol."

The summer movie season has oficially begun. Spiderman can kiss my ass.

This information can be used for good or evil. Please use only for good. I'm not surprised to learn that the most venomous land animal lives in Austrailia. The continent was used to house "dangerous" human criminals for many year. It's fitting that it also houses the most dangerous creatuers in the world.

What a shock.

You scored as Scientific Atheist, These guys rule. I'm not one of them myself, although I play one online. They know the rules of debate, the Laws of Thermodynamics, and can explain evolution in fifty words or less. More concerned with how things ARE than how they should be, these are the people who will bring us into the future. Scientific Atheist 92% Apathetic Atheist 83% Militant Atheist 42% Agnostic 42% Spiritual Atheist 33% Angry Atheist 33% Theist 0% What kind of atheist are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Your It's Also a Type of Scotch leader.

Not Out of the Question

(via PZ)

Your Turtles All the Way Down leader.

Bad Boys, Bad Boys

Here's an interesting news video from Tuesday.

Check out the handsome fellow about halfway through. Man, is he a great cop or what? (He's the one on the right, just after the Lieutenant talks the first time) (The Lieutenant is the black guy)

A Man of Means By No Means

Drive 105 is no more. It has been replaced by the "All sappy love songs, all the time" station. It's an unholy mix of WLTE and JACK FM. Love 105 is really just another sad, boring station. Things like this are what keep me from being excited about HD radio. Is 3 stations per frequency that great if they all play the same mediocre music? I'm not saying Drive was a revolutionary station, but it allowed me to hear "alternative rock" not being played outside of satellite radio without having to listen to Hungarian folk music or wait 2 weeks to hear a song I like again. Also, Drive played new music while it was still new, not weeks or months later. Considering I listen to talk radio more than anything else, satellite radio isn't even a feasible choice considering the price. I guess I'll just sulk and listen to Alt Nation on my TV satellite at home until something better comes along.

Enough sulking. At least until this idea gets more popular. Once again, it is shown that some people don't think women are smart enough to think for themselves. Raising the age of consent for "erotic" images from 18 to 21 (for women only?), is pushed by this idea. Those girls are just too dumb to realize that their bodies are dirty.

Think only of the difference between a college freshman and a recent college graduate, or between a high-school senior and a young woman with a job and apartment of her own. Or think of the difference between a 19-year-old girl--intoxicated by both a Scorpion Bowl (illegally served) and her own newly developed form--and a woman who has been through her first heartbreak and has had to think long and hard about what her value is, both in her personal life and at the office. The second woman is more likely to nurse a chardonnay with friends than "go wild" in the sense that Mr. Francis' cameras are so eager to record. Surely the porn industry can survive without the participation of teenagers.

Because 18 year-olds have never had their heart broken or thought about their bodies.

First off, I continue to insist that breasts are not intrinsically erotic. They certainly can be, but a woman flashing me doesn't turn me on. Especially when she's drunk and doesn't care who sees. Erotic the belief that sex (with me) will go along with the flash. "Girls Gone Wild" doesn't make that promise.

Secondly, the biggest difference (drinking-wise, if not completely) between a college freshman and senior is the experience of knowing how much to drink so that you can get seriously fucked up without puking. "Nurse a chardonnay" my ass. I know 30 year-old women that can and will drink me under a table, then steal my wallet and draw a fake moustache on me as I lay passed out in a pool of vomit and single-malt scotch.

Either we're adults at 18 or we're not. The drinking age of 21 is a joke. However, Jon Swift has made a better proposal for the porn industry; an even higher age minimum. Kind of like when the voting age was raised to 65 on "The Simpsons."

Let's not pretend this is compassion for young women. If you don't like porn, try and ban it. Saying that 18 year-old women just aren't smart enough to show their boobs is insulting. Me, I'd work on trying to get the 18 year-old more than a t-shirt for doing it. Garance Franke-Ruta should start working as an agent for Spring-Breakers, folowing Joe Francis around and negotiating points for the women on every video sold. That would "burden the next Joe Francis with an aptly limited supply of 'talent,'" as she says. At least talent willing to flash for free.

Your AM Radio leader.

There Is No Fucking You; There is Only Me (Plus, Wednesday Tapir Blogging)

No real content, except to piss off the Mark by linking to his notice about Postal Rates.

"He just didn't want to go to jail and decided he would outrun the police naked" I suppose Mark would prefer I not use that quote directly after mentioning him. Oh well.



The noble and majestic Tapir, taking his first steps toward greatness. (via Primordial Blog)

I would like to point out to Mark that I have been technically "blogging" since September of 2000. Although I have never been given this advice before today:

Want to become an A lister? Work on your style, develop relatively unique content, post dependably, write for your audience and not yourself, and suck up to the current A listers. In other words, turn your blog into a job, bust your ass, and yes, you will get somewhere, but only if you remember to brown nose a little. Because whether Atrios wants to admit it or not, he and Kos and the others do have the power to make or break blogs, and it would be nice if they'd admit that before unruly D-listers revolt.

Which is probably for the best. I'm writing this entire post to needle Mark and link to him as many times as I can, but also because I realize that despite my longevity as a blogger (even if no one knew that term when I started), I will never have more than an average 3 return readers a day. Which makes me happy. I will never be a deep blogger. I am the embodiment of snark, something I blame my father's family for. I am a true moderate, in that I don't have strong feelings towards most issues, and even the ones I care about don't effect me enough to make me work towards changing them. Also, I tend to disagree with the Left too much to be a true lefty. Of course, I just despise most of what the Right stands for, so that does me no good either.

The whole "Mitch is(n't) a great feminist" battle made me giggle. The best part was realizing that both sides have a different view of what feminism is. While I have some doubts that Mitch is as great a feminist as he claims, I also have trouble with this argument that claims that all of humanity is keeping women down. Amanda's argument is that women can't help but choose lower paying jobs, and it's all my fault. Luckily, I found a woman who should pretty much always make more in the business world than I ever will as a lowly civil servant. And if she wants to stay home to take care of a child, she can. If she doesn't, I'll beat her until she does.

Wow. That was a joke, everyone. I swear. And of course, just making that joke makes me a misogynist in the eyes of some. I'll live. And I'll never claim to be the most feminist person I know. (Which I can't claim, at least as long as I attend Drinking Liberally)

So where was I? Once again, the reason no one reads my blog - I haven't gotten to the point of anything in 3 years. Like today. My goal of linking to Norwegianity was met many times over, but I have no idea where I was going with that whole feminism thing. Because, as a human being, I don't have all of the answers. Maybe when I'm older.

Oh, I almost forgot this other picture:

(via Dr. Eldritch)

I was amused to no end by that. Don't ask me why.

I hope anyone who reads this was as thoroughly confused reading it as I have been writing it. I bid you a good night (or day, if you're one of the few people reading this who is not sitting in their basement late at night desperately seeking the will to live).

Your Not Norwegian Like This Guy leader.

P.S. I think this is my longest post ever, which is funny considering my opening caveat of "No real content" is still accurate.

Victory is Mine!

Well, it appears as though my crusade has been successful. I haven't heard the Chicken Dance commercial all week. Our voices (especially mine) have been heard. Congratulations to you all (but mostly me)!

The Affiliate would like me to inform you that she will be participating in the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3 Day Walk, Aug. 24-26 here in the Twin Cities. As I understand it, it is a walk to raise money to cure cancer, not for cancer as I originally thought. Anyway, she needs to raise $2,500. If you would like to donate you can click here. I will have a permanent link on the site in case you would like to donate later. Of course, any amount will be appreciated and it's for a good cause (Again, it's to fight cancer, not help cancer). Thanks a lot.

To keep from seeming too serious, here's a new item from Apple - The iRack.



Your Shameless Begging leader.

Update: NOOOOOOOO!!! The Affiliate heard the commercial on the radio this afternoon. Oh well, we'll soldier on. And that doesn't mean you shouldn't donate.

What's That Blue Thing Doing Here?

(They Might Be Giants)

This is a call to action.

I want everyone who reads this to write a letter to Cub *edit: It's actually Rainbow* Foods. Then tell your friends to write letters.The letter should somehow involve the following line:

"I will not shop at your store again until you stop using that fucking Chicken Dance commercial."

I also suggest you tell every radio station and TV station that runs the commercial that you will not listen to or watch them until they refuse to play the commercial. (OK, who am I kidding? No one watches or listens to commercials anymore.) Feel free to leave out the profanity, but I'm expecting it may be necessary to get the point across.

We will boycot companies for human rights violations and racist comments. Surely you would agree that this is just as important. What better way to stage a hunger strike than to simply stop buying groceries?

I never thought I'd see the day when those "Cub; The Store Next Door" commercials with the blathering idiots they portray as shoppers at their store (people who generally make me want to move to another galaxy so as to avoid having to converse with them) would actually make me feel like patronizing their business. But here we are.

The "Chicken Dance" needs to be stopped, and giving it an audience outside of weddings won't help kill it. It will only make it stronger.

Who is with me?

Your I Don't Wanna Be A Chicken leader.

Oh, So Offensive

Yet funny.

If this is too soon, just come back when it's not. I saw the Virginia Tech shooter on TV, and there was something about him that I couldn't put my finger on. KQRS figured it out. I'm linking this in the hopes that if mass killers are ridiculed rather than made into media heroes, people won't think they'll be famous by shooting up their peers.

Of course, as an atheist, I don't care about those who were killed.

I heard a student on the news say, "We feel like we can't do anything. At least we can pray." So she really can't do anything. Seriously, if someone would explain to me exactly how prayer is doing something, please do. "It makes me feel better" isn't a real answer, since drinking and smoking make me feel better, but I couldn't get on the news by saying, "I lost 2 friends this week. I'm going out to down some whiskey and smoke a pack of Camels."

Although that does sound like fun, I'll abstain tonight. Maybe just a movie.

Your Napolean Dynamite Still Sucks leader.

Support the Troops

Bring them home to this. (May not be work safe)

(via Bitch PhD)

Make sure they believe in God.

(via Ask an Atheist)

Also, make sure their kids know as little about sex as possible.

And give them a way to make a little extra cash when they get here.

Your Who Says Satire is Dead lader.

I Washed It Down With Gasoline and Dried It With A Match

If April showers bring May flowers, what do April snowstorms bring?

I believe that the worst act comitted by the Germans was not the Holocaust, but the introduction of accordions to the Mexicans.

Now that I've offended about 9 different groups, I'll continue.

This is an interesting post on Atheism. I put myself in the Awakened category. It was the realization that the stories I was being told were not original that got me to thinking, "What makes this telling of the story truth, and not the others." Why was Osiris' resurrection not worthy of worship? Or Mithras? Or Baldur? I came to the understanding that not believeing in all of the other deities had a logical conclusion of not believing in the Christian one.

I've heard tell that since some parts of the Bible are historically accurate, it must be true. We've found the ruins of Troy. Does this mean that Odysseus really faced the cyclops Polyphemus and the Sirens? Was Achilles truly dipped into the Styx and rendered invulnerable. (Speaking of which, why didn't his mother turn him over and dip his other foot into the river? Much suffering could have been avoided.) I like to think it did happen. I've wanted to take a cruise following the path of Odysseus through the Mediterranean Sea, with the ultimate hope of finding the lotophagi and having a lazy weekend.

Of course, unlike PZ, I don't hate the religious. I feel about the strongly devout the same way I do about devout fans of "American Idol." I get a little annoyed when I have to hear people talk about it all the time, but whatever makes you happy, right? I don't understand the obsession to such a weak show, but I do like some crappy TV myself.

If someone tried to force me to watch AI every week, I might get a little angrier. If I had to profess my love of Clay Aikin to be considered a good person in America, I might consider drastic measures.

(Ooh, doorbell - be right back)

I'm back. The Affiliate got a Fed-Ex delivery. And the delivery woman was cute as hell. Nice.

I've decided to abandon my last train of thought, because my point, if I had one, was getting lost in an overextended metaphor. That happens to me a lot.

I'm off to comfort the cat, who is frightened of the lawn mowers outside.

Your Kelly Clarkson is Not God leader.

P.S. I was kidding about the Holocaust. That was worse that the accordions. But not much.

I'll Make a Brand New Start of It

Here are your instructions for today.

Go to Google Maps. Click on get directions. Get directions from New York, New York to Paris, France.

Read #23.

Get on wih the rest of your day.

The Law of 23 is always true.

Your That's A Lot of Help leader.

We'll Be Watching Over You

This is not me, or my friends. Really.




So, I've been working a lot and I haven't had anything interesting to write about that isn't work related (which I won't write about).

Sorry.

Your I Swear I'll Make It Up To You leader.