He Are The Champions

Well, I can't say it better than Mark Spitz, but Michael Phelps is the greatest swimmer of all time. Way to go, and a big atta boy/girl to the rest of the U.S. swimmers, who brought in 29 medals, including 10 golds. As it stands now, the U.S. has 17 gold medals, and 8 of them belong to one guy. Almost half. Amazing.

There's nothing cooler than sitting in a bar full of people who erupt in cheers as an American swimmer wins the 100 meter butterfly by 1/100 of a second. To put it in perspective, it took you a lot longer than 1/100of a second to read this post to this point. So think about that.

Anyway, the Canadian women lost a hard fought soccer match to the American squad, so GO U.S.A.!

Your Luch Time is Over leader.

What's In Your Head?

This picture was brought to my attention by Ganesha at Pubhouse Dialogues:


He thought it might be The Hillock, but clearly this cat is not the size of a small province.

As for the message, summer brings out zombies. Something about the position of the sun and UV rays is amenable to the walking dead. So there's nothing to worry about. Unless the cat lives in the southern hemisphere.

Um, if you live with this cat and you're in the southern hemisphere, please let me know immediately.

I'd also like to take a moment to give belated thanks to Tild for her DiscordianStooge Brand crate label:

Special notice should be given to the "K" on the Golden Apple. That shows deeper knowledge of Discordianism that I would have thought Tild might have. I salute her. Although I don't know where Moe came from there.

Your Kallisti leader.

Didn't I Teach You That?

I'm no soccer expert, but I didn't need an expert to figure out that getting sent off in the 3rd minute isn't conducive to victory. Don't elbow a guy in front of the ref. Especially a German ref.

I did find it surprising that the crowd at the match seemed to be for the U.S.

Well, I can be happy that the U.S. women play Canada on Friday. I won't feel as guilty for watching Canada.

Your Agony of Defeat leader.

I'm A Bad Boy For Breakin' Her Heart

I was not impressed with the U.S. Olympic teams today. Sure, the soccer team drew The Netherlands 2-2, but they clearly should have won and glided into the next round. (Hint: There is an HD-Only Olympic soccer channel, at least on DirecTV Dish Network. Basketball too) I have also become suddenly interested in seeing more of the Canadian women's soccer team after cathing the end of their game last night.

And the girls gymnastics team kept falling off of things. I'm not real knowledgeable in gymnastics, but I'm sure falling is bad.

And while the men's basketball team scored a solid victory over China, they should never lose an Olympic game ever.

Finally, I was surprised to see President Bush appear in front of a picture of Mao Tse-dong during an interview on NBC. I wish he could explain why talking to China is the best way to fight their abysmal human rights record, but talking to anyone else evil is worthless.

Let's see some swimming medals, my fellow Americans, to save the day!

Your We Can Do Better leader.

Update: Way to go, guys, on the 4x100 freestyle. France ain't smashing anything today.

I Wish I Was On The Highway

The Olympics are here again! (My title is a cheat: it's from the song "Olympia, WA" by Rancid)

Go U.S., go Germany, go Czechs (The Germans and Czechs are my people too) and go all of those little countries that rarely win medals. I see Chinese Taipei has already won a medal. Good for them.

Sunday is Handball Day. I can't wait.

Your Global Goodwill (At least for a week) leader.

Crescent Fresh

Public Service Announcement ahead!!!!!

Closed circuit to the guy who needs to get to llama school:



And in case you've forgotten what Crescent Fresh means.



Your Super Cres leader.

Zombie Haiku

This is not entertaining at all. It is horrifying and should be investigated.

Twins In First

The Twins are in 1st place.

This has been another edition of Twins In First.

That is all. (With apologies to Jeff)

Dream Of Californication

Charley Q has a suggestion for John McCain on the VP front. I think it's brilliant, but I'd rather Gardsie stay right where he is.

Since I don't have Showtime, I just started watching the David Duchovney comedy "Californication" on DVD last night. It is the funnies show I've seen in a while, and there are plenty of boobies to be seen. could one ask for anything more?

Dear History Channel: I understand that Michael Crichton wrote a popular book a while ago, but could you help the world wean itself off using the word "Jurassic" to mean dinosaur or, god help us, simply big. Renaming "Jurassic Fight Club" would be a good start.

Have a pleasant week.

Your Working Too Much leader.

Fuck Your Blog ... Wait, What?

Marty does it again.



This could be a great book. I just hope Marty isn't planning to run for Senate in 30 years, because man will there be a lot of fodder for his opponent to choose from.

Your Not Self-Important leader.

Legal Speed, The American Way

I could really go for a triple espresso over ice right now. I'll put a hold on the kerosene and matches for the time being.

Your Caffinated leader.

Attention!!!!111!11

I have decided not to run for Senate.

That is all.

Jump Right Off The Face Of It

I just got my LappDogg Records compilation onto my iPod, and so was reminded of "Sky Diver" by Schtum. Do you believe that there are no lyrics for the song anywhere on the Internet? No matter. I was able to find the video. Revel in the Rock!



Your I've Got to Have Some Hope leader.

Takin' What They're Givin'

The Catholic Church needs your money. They need to replace several bejeweled crosses and rings that were stolen.

Wait. This just in - The priceless relics were found - In a cardboard box in the closet. Well, the church still needs your money to get a new safe and more bejeweled crosses, just like the ones Jesus had.

In more important news, Wal-Mart might have to pay its workers *gasp* overtime. Well-known right-wing radio nut-job Jason Lewis decried the ruling. He mentioned a rape case in St. Paul, and complained that instead of stopping rape, the authorities are going after Wal-Mart for making workers skip breaks. Boo-hoo, he says. Well, Lewis fills in for someone who makes $50 million a year, so I can see that skipping a break for that kind of money might make sense.

Well, for one, the people who look into corporate lawsuits aren't going to be stopping rape. Also, Wal-Mart was mostly hit for making people work off the clock.

Also, she was asked to work before or after she was clocked in. When asked by one of the attorneys why, when she was asked to work off the clock, she did it, Simonson said: "When your boss tells you to do something, you do it."

Jason, you've often praised America for being one of the first countries to abolish slavery. What exactly do you call being forced to work without pay? I know that it's tough to work 3 hours a day. Imagine if when you filled in for Rush, Clear Channel also asked you to do your own show and didn't pay you extra. You wouldn't stand for it. Forcing people to work without pay under threat of losing your job is slavery, and apparently you're not as against slavery as you portray yourself to be.

Lewis hates unions, but this is what happened before unions came along, and it's starting again as union membership wanes. Who could possibly have seen this coming?

Your Good Day's Work For A Good Day's Pay leader.

I'm Voting Republican

Honeymoon Part 2: Paris

So, after London, we tunneled under the North Sea and ended up in Paris, the Most Romantic City on Earth. I figure it's romantic because of all of the collonnes.


How can you not be in a romantic mood with all of those giant phalluses all over the place.

Of course, the biggest phallic symbol of all, la Tour l'Eiffel.

I was feeling a bit inadequate in that photo.

We stayed near the jardin des tuileries. They tell me jardin is French for Garden. Here's a picture of a French garden.

In contrast, here are some shots from the rose garden in Hyde Park in London.

Just sayin'.

Here's us making the garden much prettier.

The Seine, the Most Romantic River on Earth.


Champs Elysee, the Most Romantic Street on Earth.

Of course, inside of the Pantheon is the Most Romantic Pendulum Clock ... you get the point.

The Pantheon was interesting. It's a secular church. The French inter their most beloved artists, philosophers and statesmen in the crypt below. I'm impressed that artists and writers are so revered in France that they are given a place of honor that isn't Graceland. They have great debates in Parliament on whether certain people should be let in. On the other hand, if we had that here, Hemingway would be interred next to Notorious B.I.G., so maybe it's for the best we don't have this.

This picture was taken expressly for Chris.

It was some kind of frozen food shop, not a starship factory.

Here we have the Arc de Triomph.

And here is the less popular Arc de Stalemate.


Of course everyone knows about the exquisite french cuisine. I must admit, this was one of the best meals I've ever eaten.

That's a hamburger patty with an egg on top. No shit, it's absolutely fantastic.

Most people don't know that Joan of Arc turned to stone seconds before she burned to death, and is kept at Notre Dame until technology can turn her back.

Finally, the Lourve. What can I say? I love museums, but not when I can't read anything written about the pieces. Yes, it's in France, but I've seen museums with descriptions written in 20 different languages, so my guess is it's possible to write in other than French.

As an aside, if you can't read French and/or don't like museums, you can skip the Louvre and still claim you went there. If anyone asks what it was like, just say the Mona Lisa was smaller than you thought it would be. Anyone who has seen it will believe you saw it.

Yep. That's it, with half of a human head as a scale.

Well, that's all for France. We actually took about 230 pictures, but I don't have the tenacity to come up with a funny caption for that many pictures. Hell, I wasn't able to do it for the ones I posted.

Your Bon Soir leader.

Honeymoon Part 1: London, England

Well, we're still married, even after 8 days together. I don't have any wedding pictures yet, at least not in digital form. So here are some pics from London.


Yeah, that set the tone for the whole honeymoon.

I waited for David Tennant to step out of this thing for 20 minutes, then remembered that he travels in a blue police box.

Aren't we just adorable? (Don't worry. There are only about 10 pictures that actually have us in them, and only 2 more with both of us.)

The Rosetta Stone, at the British Museum. Did you know that most of the museums in London are free? You could spend days seeing all kinds of cool stuff without spending anything more than airfare.

Me with various antiquities. I'm thinking of growing a beard on the advice of that Assyrian sphinx on the right.

Big Stone Head is angry!
Garuda to the rescue!

This is the oldest working clock in the world, located in Salisbury Cathedral. (Not pictured: the flashing "12:00.")
The Affiliate and I right after the ritual human sacrifice at Stonehenge (Motto: The best Henge in the world)
The hills on the horizon are in Wales. If you look closely, you can see all of the sheep running in terror.

At the Tower of London, The Affiliate realizes she is sorely under-dressed.

This was our hotel lobby. We are, after all, classy people.

Paris pictures to come soon.

California Dreamin'

The first gay marriages were performed in California. Here's a first-person account from Marty Beckerman. (Note: Since this is a Beckerman column, it is both hilarious and incredibly offensive to pretty much everybody. Read at your own risk)

Strangely, The Affiliate and I are still married, despite this recent change in law. Probably because gay marriage isn't legal in Minnesota yet.

Speaking of which, I'll have some pictures up soon. I just got a new LCD HD TV, and GTA IV is sneering at me from the shelf, just waiting to be played in 1080i, so my time is at a premium.

Your I Do leader.

It Doesn't Look Gay

Hopefully this comes across in English and not French.

Just a quick post to say I'm in a hotel in Paris, watching Holland hand it to the French in the Euro Cup. (I'm still sore about Croatia over Germany.) I'm thinking of finding a bar for the second half to mock the frogs here.

There was no free Internet in London, but we had blast. I'll be posting plenty lof pictures when we get back.

Your Bon Soir leader.

You Always Say Your Name, Like I Wouldn't Know It's You

It was December, 2002. I was going to my cousin's wedding because my Brother and Dr. SIL couldn't make it. It was a Saturday night, and I had a "poker game" to play, but I gave in to my Mom's insistence that I go. As I was walking to my seat, I saw a familiar face, one I hadn't seen in 3 years. Why would she be at my cousin's wedding? I thought.

Before dinner, I went to sign in book to check names. "Looking for me?" I heard a familiar voice ask. It was the girl I had used to date "Actually, yes." It turns out my cousin was marrying her best friends younger brother.

We talked and danced a little that night. I still had the same phone number. She called soon after. A few weeks later we would meet at a Tim Malloys show. We had our "first date" on Valentine's Day 2003.

Fast forward to August, 2006. I had just been notified that I had gotten a job with the Minneapolis Police Department. I went out that week and got a ring. I held that ring for 2 weeks. I finally asked her if she was coming home after work that Thursday. "I'm going to make hot dogs on the grill." Sure, she said, I'll be home.

I wasn't going to make hot dogs. I was going to leave a series of notes leading her to meet me at Olive Garden, the only place we could afford to eat out at the time. I would propse thre, and she'd be happy, etc., etc.

On Tuesday, she said, "Hado is home from North (or South) Carolina. Can she come over and eat with us on Thursday?" Hado is the person who first introduced us, and one of The Affiliate's best friends going way back. "Sure, no problem," I said through gritted teeth. All of my plans, ruined! Now I know how supervillians feel when Batman comes along, or how God feels when he looks at his followers.

Wednesday night, I went in the bedroom and opened the top drawer, where the ring had been kept those 2 weeks. "What are you getting out of the drawer?" she asked from the other room. "Nothing," I replied. "Is it a sex toy," she inquired coyly. "Kind of, was my retort. She came in the room.

"Danielle, will you marry me?" "Oh my god! Yes! Oh my god."

(In the other, "clean" version of the story, when she asks what it is, I say it's an engagement ring, and she says yeah right. That's the better story, but I went for truth here.)

Tomorrow, she'll marry me. She had always wanted 06/07/08, and I was able to give her that, at least.

Thank you Danielle, for marrying me . I love you.

Why My Dad Rocks

Apparently having 19 days off makes me bored enough to post. There will be at least one more post this week, and, because my eye hurts something fierce, it may be typo filled.

A letter from my Dad to the Aitkin Age newspaper.

John McCain, the presumptive nominee for President from the Republican Party, is a war hero. There is no question about that. He is also considered a maverick of sorts for taking on his party in the past. Perhaps that is changing since he has a 95% pro Bush voting record in congress in the last few years.

However, as a veteran and a war hero, I have some serious concerns about his attitude toward today's veterans. Most of these facts are from a recent article in the Star Tribune by Edward Humes. (June 3, 2008) Even though my friends on the right consider the Star Tribune to be main stream liberal biased media, the facts of Senator McCain's voting record on veteran issues are totally accurate.

There was a time when the original GI bill (1944) was truly a reward for serving ones country. College was a free ride including books, tuition, housing, and living expenses. That has certainly been watered down in the past 60 years. Low interest loans once helped put GIs into homes. The article claims, rightfully so, that these rewards for serving the country helped create a well educated and prosperous middle class.

So, as Congress tries to get back to meaningful benefits for our soldiers, why does Senator McCain suddenly feel the need to vote against major legislation supported by veterans organizations. Examples: in March 2004, he voted "no" on $1.8 billion reserve for veterans medical care; in April 2006, he was one of 13 Senate Republicans to vote against $430 million for veterans outpatient care; in May 2006, he voted against $20 billion expansion of inadequate veteran medical facilities. Further, for fiscal year 2007, he voted "no" on a $1.5 billion increase in veteran medical services and establishing a trust fund for underbudgeted vet hospitals. He also voted against a Senator Webb bill mandating adequate rest for troops between combat deployments. Finally, on the latest GI bill, he expressed opposition before skipping a vote on the May 22nd legislation.

Senator McCain says if the benefits are too generous re-enlistments will go down. Interesting logic. I'll let readers ponder why re-enlistments might be a problem. Just who is this 'maverick' running for president? The fictional Maverick brothers were card sharks and con men. Is that what is behind the image Senator McCain presents to the public?

Hard to believe we're related, huh?

Your My Father's Son leader.

He's Forgotten, But Not Yet Gone

Wow. I've been busy working and getting ready for the wedding, so no posting for a while, but I had to take a moment to link to the best story I've ever read.

Also, when you state delegates are planning the rules for DemoCon this weekend, how about showing you're better than the (R) party by letting those who don't support the presumptive nominees speak.

I'll see you when I get back from London/Paris.

Your 19 Days off leader.

Step We Gaily, On We Go

My bachelor party is tomorrow. Come one, come all to the Downtown of Big Time Minneapolis. There are a lot of strip clubs, so I might be hard to find.

This is going to be the theme song for the evening:



I've been told that hookers are not allowed, so this shouldn't be an issue for the evening.

I'm also hoping the zombie hordes stay away for the evening. If they don't I'll be sure to let these folks know what's up.

Wish me luck.

Your We'll Do It Live leader.

Good And Bad

This is what happens when you shoot my friends.

In case you haven't noticed, Jon Swift has gone missing. My guess is the Hillary supporters at Kos got a hold of him.

And now, having checked my link, he is apparently just busy. Go back to your life, nothing to see here.

Your Feeling Stupid leader.

It's Too Painful To Imagine

Congrats to the Twins on taking 3 of 4 from the defending world champs.

Republicans voted for mothers before they voted against them. Of course, this was a BS procedural matter, but it brings to question why Congress is voting on such things anyway. I have an exclusive quote from candidate Generic Candidate (R-The 1950's) "If elected, I pledge to bring to Congress the fortitude to vote that kittens are cute, babies should not be used as a cheap food substitute, and sock-hops are a keen time!" I can't imagine why people hold an unfavorable view of our elected officials.

Yes, I am going to train to ride one of these. The story mentions the cost of the T-3s, but before you decry wasteful spending, know that all of the machines have been donated to the department.

In other police news, citizens ask that thieves be allowed to steal cars with impunity. Here's the deal - If you're a criminal, and you know the police can't pursue you, then you will run. It's that simple. I'll tell you what; if the police are forbidden to pursue a vehicle, then fleeing the police in a motor vehicle should become an automatic 25 year sentence. You'd better be damn sure we don't know who you are before you run. Otherwise, the risk of running is much less than the risk of arrest. When someone tries to flee in a car, we become curious as to exactly why. Could be a misdemeanor warrant; could be you just shot three people and have a dead hooker in the trunk. Maybe it's the job, but I tend to think the worst in such situations. And really, can't we for once blame the guy who ran when things go bad?

As for the title of today's post, I was faced with a hypothetical situation this weekend. First, some background:

#1. For an injury to be considered work-related, it must stem from a unique aspect of police work (kicking in doors, fighting with suspects, spilling hot coffee on oneself, etc.). Everyday activities don't count.
#2. An "Officer Needs Help" call means that shit is going down. It's not, "I'd like another car to assist me," it's "I'm fighting with 3 guys" or"Someone's shooting at me." Help means we drop what we're doing and drive as fast as we can until we arrive or are told that everything is OK.

Those 2 things considered, here's the question: If I am in the bathroom when a "Help" call come out, and I accidentally get my wang caught in my zipper while rushing to help, is that considered work related?

Perhaps a visual aid. (Not Safe For Work)



Your Frank and Beans leader.

Name That Tune

Would you like to play a game? No, I'm not going to to torture you to teach you a lesson.

I'll post the opening line from random tracks on the ol' iPod, and you guess the song and artist. My older readers may have some problems, but I expect Chris to get about 90%, since all of my best music was recommended by him.

1. Whatcha doin'? Nothin' Chillin'
2. And as the conversation drags I try to think of something quickly
3. I come from the land of the ice and snow
4. If I were you, and I wish that I were you.
5. There you go again when you brush up against my skin
6. You wake up in the morning and fall out of your bed
7. A thousand hands applaud tonight
8. Two hearts fading like a flower
9. One way streets and square-one
10. I know you broke up with him and your heart's still on a shelf
11. There's a uniform that's hanging in what's known as father's room
12. Take my money, wreck my song
13. Nobody really knows where they're supposed to go
14. You bag of shit, you suck
15. The fire flickers out making movies on her skin
16. So you wanted to take a break, slow it down some
17. It's easier not to be wise and measure these things by your brain
18. Richard Wagner's to his lover Mathilda were a mess
19. The boy only wanted to give mother something, and all of her roses had bloomed
20. Let me tell you the story of a man named Charlie on a tragic and fateful day
21. I know that something very strange is happenin' to my brain
22. Just a perfect day, drink Sangria in the park
23. A red suitcase she'll never miss, leather coat he used to wear
24. Somethings in the air tonight, the sky's alive with burning light
25. His eyes go funny, you can't place why

After doing this, the old folk may have a shot on this one. My upbringing listening to "oldies" really did affect me. Take your shot in the comments.

Your In 3 Notes leader.

From Now On We'll Travel Through Tubes

As you know, I'm a Wiggum guy. But here's the best campaign ad I've seen to date.



Maybe CC will accept the VP slot. I just don't think it's his time yet.

Code Monkey Like Tab And Mountain Dew

Our Katie (c. Spotty) continues her career as the Star Tribune's resident scold. This time, it's video games. Grand Theft Auto IV, to be exact.

Grand Theft Auto IV hit the stores last week like a tsunami, and is expected to become one of the biggest sellers in video game history. Commentators agree that the game, with its sophisticated graphics, sets a new standard for realistic violence and sex.

I wonder if these are the same commentators who claimed that “Mass Effect” had explicit man-on-alien sex.

The launch of a game like GTA IV -- labeled "M" for sale only to buyers 17 and over -- always seems to provoke the same debate. Critics charge that the game harms children, who can easily get their hands on it.

So, the game is “clearly labeled” for 17 and older, just like adult films. Where’s the problem?

Research confirms that violent media increase young people's aggressive thoughts and behavior and decrease their self-control and the inclination to help others. Adolescents who play violent video games tend to be more hostile, to argue more with teachers, to get into more physical fights, and to do more poorly in school, one national study reports.

Yes, one study. Most of my friends played violent video games growing up. We also respected our parents and were mostly non-violent. We also did well in school. We were raised well. The games had no effect. In fact, they gave us an outlet for violence. It was easier (and safer) for me to vicariously rip out Chris’ spinal cord playing “Mortal Combat” than it was to actually fight with him. Then we’d laugh and go kill a hooker have a frosty milkshake.

Video game representatives make two arguments when faced with such data. First, they insist that parents are the gatekeepers for their children's play. Sounds good, but ask any 15-year-old male if it's really true.

Kids always have gotten their hands on adult material. I saw "Interview With the Vampire" in a theater when I was 13. I've never killed anyone and then drank their blood for sustenance, not once. I also never grew my hair out to outrageous lengths.

Second, industry spokespeople downplay the youth problem's relevance, pointing to surveys that suggest that the average gamer is somewhere between the ages of 29 to 32. This is comforting?

Let's assume that's true. Is it supposed to be comforting that millions of grown men get their "entertainment" from pretending to blow away cops and hook up with prostitutes?

See, Katie has just granted a new premise, one that defeats her original argument about kids playing violent video games. So I guess the first half of this column is no longer relevant. Besides, didn’t most kids play “Cops and Robbers” when they were young? Doesn’t that involve pretending to shoot cops?

Anyone who has raised a child, or worked for a boss -- or looked honestly at his or her own shortcomings -- knows that we human beings have both good and bad instincts and impulses. We have the potential to be kind, generous and self-controlled, but we also can be selfish, power-hungry, violent and cruel.

Katie has told us that simply telling kids to say ‘no” is enough to stop the most base instinct, to have sex. Why not simply tell your kids not to kill cops? It’s worked for me. And what’s with the boss comment? I see a bad performance review in Katie’s future.

History amply illustrates humanity's dark side. In ancient Rome, crowds of thousands of people -- not too different from us -- cheered with frenzied blood lust as animals and human beings were torn to pieces.

So humans have craved violence since the beginning of time. What does Kersten think would happen if we removed all opportunity to view violence from Americans? Maybe we’d make our own violence. Video games give people a chance to take out their frustrations in a way that doesn’t lead to multiple life sentences.

In the 15th century, public executions took on a festival atmosphere as victims were disembowled or burned at the stake.

Katie like her executions nice and private, I guess. I'm guessing she decried the public hanging of Saddam Hussein somewhere, though.

Our own age has witnessed the horrors of genocide in Nazi Germany and Rwanda. These atrocities were not perpetrated by a handful of human monsters, but by thousands of ordinary people.

The Nazis were notorious video game players, as we all know. Rwanda has always been more of a “World of Warcraft” place, but that’s still violence, I guess.

Games like GTA IV stimulate and glamorize our dark impulses. They create a taste for the psychological thrill that can come from dominating and degrading others.

That’s a taste that Katie has already admitted exists in humanity. Claiming games create this impulse is simply ludicrous. Everyone knows it comes from evolution.

The hazards of violent games will only increase as new, more advanced technologies like the Wii system take hold. With Wii, for instance, you can go beyond punching buttons or manipulating a joystick -- you can act out a game physically.

I can punch another person without any game system whatsoever. I don't need a game to tell me to do it.

We all have a dark side

Especially this wizard teacher in Florida. (Not Kersten related, but the dumbest thing I’ve heard in a long time.)

Here's the deal. If parents can raise their kids right, they'll know that video games are fantasy, and killing people is wrong. If not, then people won't need video games to be violent. I'll continue to suggest that video games are a positive outlet for violent impulses that exist in all of humanity.

I'll give the last word to Peter Griffin of Family Guy:

"But I'll tell you what's not cool--killing strippers. Strippers are people too; naked people who may be willing to pleasure you for a price you negotiate later behind the curtain of a VIP room. Besides, there's no reason to kill them, 'cause most of them are already dead inside."

Your Ask Questions First, Shoot Later leader.

If Whiskey Doesn't Kill Me, I Don't Know What Will

The Affiliate got laid off ... again. It's just a side effect of this robust economy all of the righties are talking about. On the plus side, The Affiliate is the greatest employee of all time, so anyone would be lucky to get her on the payroll.

It doesn't help that I'm sick as hell right now. Cough. Congestion. Sneezing. Sore throat. I left work early last night, because I figured sitting at home was better than walking outside in the rain. Tonight looks a little better.

Stuff like this lightens my spirits a bit.



At some point I am going to start watching Olberman on TV, rather than hearing about the great bits after the fact. Today is not that day, however.

35 days until I'm married. Sorry, single chicks.

Your Nighttime, Sniffling, Sneezing, Coughing, Aching , Stuffy-Head, Fever leader.

What's My Name?

Prof. Myers has an interesting post over at Pharyngula, with a great discussion in the comments.

I'll just say that I've been DiscordianStooge since 1997, when I read "Illuminatus!" and got an e-mail address. I posted under my real name for a while in college, but now people online wouldn't know my real name if I told them; they know me as DiscordianStooge (with or without a space, although without is proper), or sometimes DiscoStoo. (I've been called stool by swiftee, but sometimes I'm not sure if he means me or is responding to The Cucking Stool) That last aside is another example. I didn't know Spotty's real name until months after I met him in person.

I have created an online persona in DS. One that is quite similar to my real-life self, except funnier and better looking. Now I have professional concerns, but DiscordianStooge would exist whether or not that were the case.

Another intersting discussion running over here, but only if you know about the text-based computer games of the 80's and/or "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." The comments became an ethical discussion about releasing private e-mails, but I was mostly impressed that so many computer programming folk from 20 years ago were available to comment. Once a compter nerd, etc., I guess. I vaguely remember playing "Zork," as a kid. Well, watching others play it, which, if you've seen a text-based game, says a lot about my personality. The white house in a clearing. Grues. The Flathead Mountains. Ahh, good times. I tried to play the HHGG game a couple of years back, and I earned about 5 points. I was never very good at text-based games, I must say.

I watched the movie "Hot Fuzz" tonight. Top-notch, I must say. Simon Pegg is great, and I'm looking forward to seeing "Run, Fatboy, Run." Also, "Doctor Who" started its new season this weekend, much to my pleasant surprise. Between "MI-5," "Torchwood," "Robin Hood" starting next week and "Doctor Who," my TV viewing is nearly all BBC, all the time.

Your Extraneous "U" leader.

Nothing Lasts Forever, Even Cold November Rain

As I write this, there is ice falling from the sky. Which I believe is a sign of the Apocalypse. But before I repent, I will double check.

Nope, no ice. It's atheism for another night, at least.

I got the stinky meat smell out of my car. It took a lot of Febreze, some Oust and a liberal amount of vinegar. Of course, my jumper cables have gained sentience, but I'm hoping that will pass in a few days.

Wait a minute, talking jumper cables ... nope, no mention in the bible. Still OK.

Our Katie (c. Spotty) is enraged about religion in schools. Shocked? Don't be. It's only because it's an Islamic school.

Of course, I agree with her. The school is obviously supporting religion, and specifically Islam. Since it's a public school, it's wrong. But of course, we dangerous atheist lefties support the Muslim hordes and only hate Christians, so we'll ignore this. Oh, wait.

Well, OK. But where's the ACLU, which goes after every little bit of Christianity? Why isn't the ACLU upset about this religion in public schools? Um, never mind.

I'll spend some more time looking for hypocrisy that proves that Christians are the only group discriminated against in this country. Being on the KAR blogroll brings responsibility, after all.

Anyway, until Katie decides that religion in public schools is wrong, not just the religions she doesn't like, I'll continue to ridicule her. Because she is really worthless. Honestly, Star Tribune, hire Cap'n Fishsticks as a columnist, or maybe Mitch Berg. Someone who can come up with an original idea, not just copy from other right-wingers. Someone who can get off of politics for 5 seconds and write about the community without making it into an anti-left screed. (Not swifteeeeeeee, obviously.)

Here's a Google-bomb for Katherine Kersten. Or maybe swiftee. I haven't decided. Hell, let's do both! (Not safe for work)

Your Lincoln Workout leader.

Go Wild!

Go Wild!

Your State Of Hockey leader.

Off The Beaten Path I Reign

My car had been smelling funny for the past week. As I was getting my oil changed and a car wash, I thought I'd clean out the inside of my car. And since my trunk was full of worthless junk, I thought I do some spring cleaning and empty that as well.

That's when I found the venison. I had been wondering where the venison my dad gave me at Christmas had gone. Two mysteries solved. I didn't notice anything because it had been cold enough to keep the meat frozen, up until this week.

If you know how to get rotten meat smell out of a car, please contact me.

Michelle Bachman has found a new cause; Compact Flourescent lightbulbs. I must admit, I use CFL in most of my lights. I have since moving in 2005. I haven't changed a CFL bulb in my house since then, so I'd say they have a decent lifespan. Bachman's argument isn't about lifespan, however, it's about danger to your health.

I've heard her talk about these bulbs on the radio, and the way she describes them leaves me thinking that she isn't going far enough. If these bulbs are as dangerous as she claims, she is being lax in not calling for an outright ban on the things. She's made the claim that a hazmat team is needed to clean up after a broken bulb. Of course, her version of the danger is widely exaggerated. It's what we've come to expect from the Representative.

I will add that I don't think incandescent bulbs should be banned. There's no point. Most people will phase out the use of these bulbs as time goes on, and a ban on incandescents will keep the price on CFLs higher. However, I find the Right's sudden evironmental concerns confusing. CFL mercury is bad, but damned if we will try and reduce mercury emissions by reducing coal burning. Let's get on the right page, folks, and not just attack anything that Al Gore happens to support.

Your What's That Smell? leader

My Chemical Symbol Is FU

This may be the most personal post I've ever made, because I am drunk out of my mind. See, it was The Affiliate's brother's 21st birthday tonight. She managed to down 6 Smirnoff Ices. I had four beers and an unknown amount of Johnny Walker Black. (My guess is 7 shots)

1. I smoked a cigarette last night. Don't tell the Affiliate.

2. If I were single, I would probably hit on her brother's girlfriend.

3. The Affiliate's brother's girlfriend is not hotter than The Affilate.

4. I feel really old amongst 19-22 year-old kids. However, they are interested enough in a cop to not be creeped out by a 28 year old guy.

5. I just might be the luckiest nerd on the face of the Earth.

Danielle, I love you. Thank you for agreeing to marry me

Your Seriously, I Might Pass Out leader.

P.S. This post has been approved by my fat-ass cat, Vladimir. A.K.A. The Hillock

P.P.S. I can't stop hiccuping. Kill me, please.

Science, Y'all!

Not safe for work.

This is funny. A country song about science.




"I'll put my jism/In your schism/Make another organism." Classic! (update: Embed, YES!)

Check around, they also have a song about Pi.

Nothing more to see here.

It's Hard To See, Sittin' In The Nosebleeds

So, a kid in Wisconsin is suing his school because he got an F on an art piece.

A Tomah High School student has filed a federal lawsuit alleging his art teacher censored his drawing because it featured a cross and a biblical reference.

The lawsuit alleges other students were allowed to draw “demonic” images and asks a judge to declare a class policy prohibiting religion in art unconstitutional.

“We hear so much today about tolerance,” said David Cortman, an attorney with the Alliance Defense Fund, a Christian legal advocacy group representing the student. “But where is the tolerance for religious beliefs? The whole purpose of art is to reflect your own personal experience.

That's true. Art is personal. Why, then, did he get an F?

His teacher, Julie Millin, asked him to remove the reference to the Bible, saying students were making remarks about it.

He refused, and she gave him a zero on the project.

Millin showed the student a policy for the class that prohibited any violence, blood, sexual connotations or religious beliefs in artwork. The lawsuit claims Millin told the boy he had signed away his constitutional rights when he signed the policy at the beginning of the semester.

So the kid broke a classroom rule, was told by a teacher to change his project, refused, and failed. Sounds about right.

The rule is bullshit. It's an art class. Kids should be allowed to explore their feelings, religion included. I'm not a big art fan, but I know that art often offends. Not that "John 3:16" is offensive in any way. No more offensive than "The 12 Labors of Heracles," anyway. However, it has been well established that, as the quote says, students have no Constitional rights. The kid didn't follow the rule, and deserves the F.

I hope he gets the policy overturned. This isn't just an anti-religious policy, it is anti-free speech. My guess, however, is that he only wants the religious ban overturned, not the sexual imagery or violence bans. Which is too bad.

The story has some other interesting statements.

The lawsuit also alleges school officials allow other religious items and artwork to be displayed on campus.

A Buddha and Hindu figurines are on display in a social studies classroom, the lawsuit claims, adding the teacher passionately teaches Hindu principles to students.

In addition, a replica of Michaelangelo’s “The Creation of Man” is displayed at the school’s entrance, a picture of a six-limbed Hindu goddess is in the school’s hallway and a drawing of a robed sorcerer hangs on a hallway bulletin board.

So the administrator's statement that a piece of art with a bible quote infringes on other students' rights rings false.

But does anyone else have the same question as I do? A robed sorcerer is a religious item? They also mention a Medusa drawing in the list. I guess that fits. If one fairy tale can be a religion, why not all of them?

Your Confusing To Many leader.

March Comes In Like A Lion

March goes out like a lamb. In today's case, that means it's white and fluffy.



Lousy Smarch weather.

Twins win opener! My World Series tickets have already been ordered.

Interestingly, if this were 2010 the game may have been cancelled. Which is bullshit. Play in the snow. Call it home field advantage.

Your We're Gonna Win Twins! leader.

Button Up That Shirt You're S'posed To Wear

Just a quick post to point out a band that played at the 331 last night called Zoo Animal.

Normally I'm not terribly impressed by groups that play at the 331. These guys were different. They had a good groove and the lead singer had a great voice. They had a kind of mellow grunge sound, kind of like Harvey Danger's slower stuff. They also sounded a lot like a Chicago band I heard a few years back called Wonderful Smith, but without the whimsy. I only stayed for a few songs, but I'd definitely seek them out again.

Well, that's all. I wouldn't want this to turn into a real post. That would make 4 this week.

Your Unacceptable! leader

Somebody Save Me

I've woken up in what can only be described as "moderate-to-strong pain" the last two days, which means I haven't gotten to the club to work out, which means I am feeling lazy this week. Apparently I'm not sleeping very soundly, and I have no idea why.

Pain won't stop me from getting out to DL tonight. Rumor has it that PZ Myers, the guy who introduced me to lefty blogs, may be dragging his tentacled self out to the 331 Club tonight. I can't resist the siren's call....

Have you ever planned a wedding? Here's an exchange between The Affiliate and I from today:

A: Ok, do you want to walk your mom down the aisle before my brother walks my mom down, or do you want Brian to walk your mom down the aisle before my brother walks my mom and you will just walk around the side and get on the alter without walking down the aisle?

Big decisions!

Me:I'll walk my mom down. Although, I'm pretty sure she can walk by herself, being a grown woman and all. She's a tough cookie, you know. ;) Do I get to walk to the same song as everyone else? Or does that start after I'm already at the altar, checking my watch?

My wedding party march is "Scotland the Brave" from a great bagpipe music CD I have, by the way. It also happened to be my high school fight song, which is awesome.

This won't be served at the wedding: "Texan Faces charges Over Snake Vodka." Apparently he put baby rattlers in vodka and sold it without a liquor license. The man is also the "state's largest exporter of live turtles to Asia." That is something I would like to someday be. Although I'm not sure if he exports the most turtles to Asia, or if he simply has more volume than other exporters. Also, the fact that there are multiple live turtle exporters in Texas interests me.

We'll see how pissed The Affiliate is about this post. At least I didn't correct her spelling of "altar" publicly.

Oops.

Your Soon To Not Be Engaged leader.

So He Danced A Jig And Lit A Cig

I've been honored with a spot on the Kool-Aid Report Blogroll! I guess all of those links and my brief support of Bacon for President have finally paid off. He said I'm funny, which is either an obvious sign of mental deficiency on his part or proof that Conservatives have no sense of humor. He also claimed I am "frequently blasphemous," which is patently false; I am always blasphemous. But I am made to feel welcome nonetheless, even as one of a token two.

One staple of KAR is the fisking of letters. It's something I have often wanted to attempt. I figured I would be viewed as a pretender to the LearnedFoot throne of fisking. Also, I'm pretty lazy and often forget to fisk when I get home from work. I might give it a shot in the near future, though. I've even been working on an "EPIC FAIL" picture.

I'm starting a new blog label today; International Affairs. This will probably be the only post to use it.

Let us turn our attention to Bhutan, the Last Shangri-la. A small landlocked country in the Himalaya with a kick-ass flag, Bhutan is not well known to most folk. It's a country that measures happiness as more important than GDP (Which makes its lesser-known status surprising, especially amongst my fellow lefties). A country that inspired T.D. Mischke into song (whence I got today's post title). A country whose king forced his people into democracy. Well, technically, the former king. See, current King Jigme Khesar Namgyal Wangchuck is the son of Jigme Singye Wangchuck. Singye Wangchuck called for democratic elections before abdicating the throne last year. Khesar, who is the world's youngest head of state, agreed with dad, and the elections were just held.

The people weren't really that happy about the election. They seemed to be just fine with the way things were. They like their kings. Apparently the Wangchuck Dynasty has been more than adequate. They elected an overwhelmingly royalist parliament. Which seems to be the right choice. It's not often that a king calls for his people to take more power. It's the sign of a good leader, at least in my book. So not much will change for now. At least until China decides that Bhutan's land belongs to the People (of China).

On a side note, Bhutan is a great answer if your drinking game "Categories" ever comes around to "Countries in Asia." East Timor is another answer that will amaze your wasted friends.

So now you know the current affairs of Bhutan. Kind of.

Your Token Liberal leader.

I Wonder What Would Happen To This World

Sorry about the posting gap. I was preparing for a very dangerous day. You might know it as "Easter." Those in the know call it Zombie Jesus Day. It's like the 4th of July for zombies, when they rise from the dead and people, instead of being properly horrified, think it's some sort of miracle. The zombies then use the feelings of love and wonder to get close enough to feast upon the brains of their former loved ones. It's quite devious on their part.

That link is from a new blog I've found through Brian at Primordial Blog. Despite being a KC Chiefs Fan, this PhillyChief fellow seems to be on his game. For example, from his site:



Top notch advice. And when choosing your weapon, remember to factor in rising gas prices before going with your trusty chainsaw.

It took me a little longer than normal to put down the zombies this year, mostly because of trying to fit wedding planning in between battles. Also, I took time to hit Drinking Liberally and met a young man running for Congress in the 3rd District named Ashwin Madia at the 331 Club.

I was impressed by his candor and ability to not spout slogans. Hell, he impressed Bruce with his answers. He is far more moderate that most of the DL group, whom I am sure were upset he said we can't immediately leave Iraq. He is, however, perfect for the district that is represented by Jim Ramstad. Of course, I can't vote for him, but certain future in-laws of mine can, and I know at least one of them reads this from time to time. If you're in the district, you should check him out. Don't let the (D) scare you away from a good candidate.

Finally, I question the story from these guys. They claim they were hunting gophers with fire, sparking a 160 acre grass fire. My guess is the Canadian government is trying to cover up a bigger problem.

Your Worthless Nonsense? leader.

Just 5 Feet Tall And Sick Of Me

Woman sits on toilet for 2 years. This story is for Jeremy. As a humerous side note, the Sheriff in this case's name is Whipple.

In Minnesota, the winters are long and cold, and unlike some other cold places, there's not a lot to do. That's how this kid got the practice to become the best Guitar Hero player in the world.

Congratulations to Jenna Bush. I understand why she chose to get married in Texas. The Affiliate and I also decided we'd rather stay close to home rather than have an extravagant White House wedding.

Woman smuggles skeleton onto an airplane. She was fulfilling her brother's wish to be buried in Italy. Me, I'd like to be stuffed and put on the couch to keep away potential suitors from my widow and possibly my daughter, if I have one.

Especially if she is dating a guy like this.

Jumping off your roof into the pool is kind of cool. But, see, there's no pool there. So it's not cool at all. It's just stupid. Really, really stupid.

Not as stupid as not watching Midnight Spank on G4, however.



Don't let it open the bag.

Your Evil Butterfly leader.

Gary Gygax 1938 – 2008

His constitution was reduced to zero by disease. At least he left us before 4th Edition came out.

D&D introduced me to a lot of friends. It has been an important part of my life, even at times like now when I haven't been playing for a long time. My "poker games" have given me some of the best entertainment I've experienced, at it's all because of Gary Gygax. His name is like a shibboleth in certain circles, creating an understanding between people. I'm happy the game will live on, even though the Great Dungeon Master is gone from it.

Here's a better tribute than I could write.

A related picture: Baby DL has the nerdiest clothing.




This makes me want to have a baby just so I can put that shirt on it.

I'm working overnight tonight, so I need to get me some Brawndo.

It has electrolytes. They're what plants crave.

Your +5 Vorpal Sword leader

March 1st ... No, Wait ... What Year Is It Again?

It's Leap Day. A very special day. The day we try and reconcile our calendar. Here's how we do it. Not the bibleists understand that.



OK, here's the thing. That's a video of a monkey riding a goat on a tightrope. Seriously. Also, the monkey does a handstand on the goat while it's on the tightrope. Simply awesome.

Everyone's favorite radio bloviator Michael Medved was going after Bill Cunningham for using Barack Obabma's middle name in a speech, calling it a cheap political smear. Which is funny, because I learned Obama's middle name in December of 2006 from ... wait for it ... Michael Medved, who called telling me Obama's middle name a "shocking revelation." I'm glad he has learned to take the high road, especially without pointing out his own trip down the low.

It looks like Mark has blogged himself out. I suppose that could be a good thing. We now all have enough time to go back and read all of those links he's been posting. You'd think that avoiding Drinking Liberally would give someone more time to write, but apparently not.

Speaking of DL, it was a small crowd last night. The inch or so of snow may have had something to do with it. Rumor is that Spotty was afraid to drive in from Cakeville. I can't blame him. He's a dog, and they aren't ever supposed to drive, let alone in slippery snow and ice. Christy (no link by her request) made it, however, and hopefully will continue to attend whether I'm there or not.

And a final blog question: What is with the changing site designs popping up around the ol' 'sphere? Kool-Aid Report went white background and sterile type. Then Jeremy at Afterglide did whatever the hell happened to that place, with more than half of the page taken up by whatever that shit on the right side is. Can we all agree that the majority of the page should be taken up by post content? No, I suppose not. However, I must point out that both Afterglide and KAR are poop-heavy content sites. Maybe that has something to do with the shitty layout. (See what I did there? Yeah, you do.)

Your 366 Days A Year leader.

Closed Circuit to Former "President For Life" Fidel Castro

Fidel,

Gracias por caminar abajo. Sé que está sido 49 años largos, especialmente puesto que usted no tenía las maquinillas de afeitar a afeitar durante ese tiempo. Ahora usted puede relajar e intentar y tomar el cuidado de sus dos puntos enfermos. La fuerza le sugiere toma un cigarro agradable, lo enciende, y lo empuja encima de su asno.

(This message brought to you by Babelfish)

I am reminded of a song ...
(Lyrics adapted for Señor Castro)

Wounds won't last long, but an insulting song
Fidel will always carry with him,
So I'll settle my score on the salsa floor,
With this vengeful Latin rhythm.

Cas-tro!
Con un corazón de perro.
Señor Cas-tro!!
El diablo con dinero.

It may not surprise you,
But all of us despise you,
Please die,
And fry,
In Hell,
You rotten,
Rich old wretch

(Song property of "The Simpsons," as performed by the inimitable Tito Puente)

Your Adios Viejo! leader.

Your Words, Not Mine

I just was listening to Michael M-E-D as in Demagogue-V-E-D, and I find out that Sen. Obama has been plagiarizing a speech from Gov. Patrick of Massachusetts. A speech that Patrick gave to Obabma to use. Almost like a speechwriter.

But I've done some digging, and I've discovered that Patrick also was plagiarizing when he made the speech.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident," I have found, comes from an old writing of Thomas Jefferson. "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country," comes from a former prominent Democrat. And "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself," is from a guy who held a coup to keep the presidency for more than 2 terms!

Obviously this story needs to be looked into further. But not until we've gotten to the bottom of why people are fainting at Obama rallies.

Obviously these are staged. How could anyone possibly call for medics (or EMT's; although each occurrence was "exactly the same," he used different words, that sneaky guy), tell people to give someone who fainted space and offer water to someone who fainted? They couldn't. There's no way that a speaker at a crowded rally where people have been waiting around all day to get a good spot could possibly be prepared for someone to faint. It must be staged.

Obama must be a fraud. There's no way this many people are looking for a different style of leadership when everything in America is just peachy, like it most certainly is right now, and anyone who says differently is deranged and hates America and is probably a terrorist.

Your Cribbed Notes leader.

I Don't Ever Wanna Taste These Tears Again

It's been a whole week, and absolutely nothing to write about. That's the funny thing about my blogging style. There could be big news stories, political wrangling and entertainment fixes, but it's possible that none of them appeal to me. Or I could just be too lazy to comment. You make the call.

Actually, the writer's strike ended too soon for me. I'd like to see "Journeyman" and "Life" come back this fall, and now I'm afraid that the writers and networks will have enough time to develop some crap to replace them.

Baby orangutan is named Jaya. I think Louie would have been a better name, but I'm sure that's been done before.

Perfect Peace can be found in Iowa. Who knew?

Looking for a good cry? This is the story for you.

Your Trying To Keep Active leader.

Anywhere's A Better Place To Be

Oh, RepubliCain Party, can't you keep your voters in line? I mean, calling an election before the votes are counted is normal, but now you're doing it to your own people? It's almost like you want McCain to be your nominee now, and not wait to see what the people want. I can't wait to see what they pull in the general election. Swiftee likes to call the Dems the "party of scrubs" because they're all corrupt. I wonder if he has moved to the Constitution Party, now that the RepubliCain Party has shown that it is as dishonest as any other group. (Again)

On the other hand, the RepubliCain Party members have money, and they know how to drink.

Republicans coming to their national convention in September can buy a "pony shot" of 55-year-old single-malt scotch, fresh from a famed 184-year-old distillery in the Scottish Highlands.

For $525 a glass.

Yum. That's only 3 days of work for me. Less, if I can get time away during the overtime extravaganza that will be the RNC. If you can afford it, please, please, please don't put ice in your drink.

I saw "Cloverfield" this weekend. It was pretty good. However, the concession stands should be selling Dramamine before each show. When it comes to shaky cameras, Blair Witch ain't got shit on Cloverfield. So I was having trouble enjoying the monster action, trying not to throw up, when near the end they throw in some strobe lights. I'm pretty sure it was intentional. The monster was cool, though, and despite the nausea I did enjoy the movie, so I can recommend it. Maybe on a smaller screen at home for the weak of stomach.

Back to work today after 6 days off. I hope the city is still there. i haven't really checked.

Your Nauseated leader.

Rock Out With Your Caucus Out: The Aftermath

I attended a part of my caucus. I was sick and very cranky, and when our precinct chair couldn't figure out when our district convention was or how many delegates we had, I had to leave. The Affiliate stayed, got elected district chair and as a delegate, and counted the votes. We had 70 votes, with about 30-35 42 staying past the President ballot. Obama won handily with 40 votes.

Someone managed to convince the chair we should have a Senate straw poll. Non-binding, of course. Franken won, Nelson-Pallmeyer was a close second with Ciresi not even close.(Update: Franken 20 Uncommitted 12 Nelson-Pallmeyer 7 Ciresi 3) I would have voted uncommitted.

My motion to abolish the party endorsement process failed. The Affiliate didn't know what it was about, and I wasn't there to explain it. Basically, I suggested that the primary election should choose our candidate, not party insiders. A shocking motion, I know.

Local caucus recap.

National Super Tuesday recap.

Since chances are you'll have no real choice in your Senate candidate, this test is pretty worthless. Take it anyway. Then you can be outraged when a small minority of party insiders get to pick their Earl. (Representatives come in as counts, State Senators viscounts and State Reps barons. You get the metaphor.) I got a three-way tie for Democratic candidates, which is not surprising to me in the least. (Note: The question on energy policy is incomprehensible and simply reading it may cause the appearance of Tsathoggua. Read at your own peril.)

I'm considering contacting someone and offering my services as precinct chair in 2 years. Will Rogers was a funny guy, but it's not funny when the process is so convoluted and disorganized that it scares people away.

Speaking of counts, The Count used to be the guy to go to for election results. This video shows he has found a new pastime.



Your Convincing Victory leader

Rock Out With Your Caucus Out

MN Caucuses tonight. In case you hadn't heard.

Remember, we're voting on the future leaders of our country. People who could have access to remote controlled robot spy insects.

PZ has a video that makes Mike Huckabee seem somehow appealing.

Yet another supposedly clever (and non-political, at least not anymore) question answered.

Really, I'm just looking for filler so I could title my post for today. I didn't even come up with it. At least I don't think so. I'm pretty sure I heard it somewhere.

Your Vote leader.

Tied To Machines That Make Me Be

I asked at DL tonight, but no one seemed interested in the discussion. I am looking for some platform items to propose at the DFL caucus on Tuesday. Leave a comment with any and all ideas. If I agree or don't care, I'll bring it up on Tuesday.

OK, I didn't get anyone into the first round of this, but go vote for the Best Metal Song of All Time, at KAR. You can guess my vote from the title of this post.

Amber is giving fashion advice to men. It's a lengthy post, and one I can't comment on, being that I'm a man who doesn't care about fashion or attracting a woman (anymore). I will add that wearing a police uniform in Downtown Minneapolis is a good fashion move to attract women, providing that you are an actual cop (being arrested is usually not very becoming).

I thought I would respond with my fashion advice for women to attract men.

1. Wear something that accentuates your breasts and/or rear end and/or legs.

That's pretty much it.

Your "I Can Not Live, I Can Not Die" leader.