Thursday, July 24, 2008

Fuck Your Blog ... Wait, What?

Marty does it again.

This could be a great book. I just hope Marty isn't planning to run for Senate in 30 years, because man will there be a lot of fodder for his opponent to choose from.

Your Not Self-Important leader.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Legal Speed, The American Way

I could really go for a triple espresso over ice right now. I'll put a hold on the kerosene and matches for the time being.

Your Caffinated leader.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Jump Right Off The Face Of It

I just got my LappDogg Records compilation onto my iPod, and so was reminded of "Sky Diver" by Schtum. Do you believe that there are no lyrics for the song anywhere on the Internet? No matter. I was able to find the video. Revel in the Rock!

Your I've Got to Have Some Hope leader.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Takin' What They're Givin'

The Catholic Church needs your money. They need to replace several bejeweled crosses and rings that were stolen.

Wait. This just in - The priceless relics were found - In a cardboard box in the closet. Well, the church still needs your money to get a new safe and more bejeweled crosses, just like the ones Jesus had.

In more important news, Wal-Mart might have to pay its workers *gasp* overtime. Well-known right-wing radio nut-job Jason Lewis decried the ruling. He mentioned a rape case in St. Paul, and complained that instead of stopping rape, the authorities are going after Wal-Mart for making workers skip breaks. Boo-hoo, he says. Well, Lewis fills in for someone who makes $50 million a year, so I can see that skipping a break for that kind of money might make sense.

Well, for one, the people who look into corporate lawsuits aren't going to be stopping rape. Also, Wal-Mart was mostly hit for making people work off the clock.
Also, she was asked to work before or after she was clocked in. When asked by one of the attorneys why, when she was asked to work off the clock, she did it, Simonson said: "When your boss tells you to do something, you do it."
Jason, you've often praised America for being one of the first countries to abolish slavery. What exactly do you call being forced to work without pay? I know that it's tough to work 3 hours a day. Imagine if when you filled in for Rush, Clear Channel also asked you to do your own show and didn't pay you extra. You wouldn't stand for it. Forcing people to work without pay under threat of losing your job is slavery, and apparently you're not as against slavery as you portray yourself to be.

Lewis hates unions, but this is what happened before unions came along, and it's starting again as union membership wanes. Who could possibly have seen this coming?

Your Good Day's Work For A Good Day's Pay leader.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

I'm Voting Republican

Honeymoon Part 2: Paris

So, after London, we tunneled under the North Sea and ended up in Paris, the Most Romantic City on Earth. I figure it's romantic because of all of the collonnes.

How can you not be in a romantic mood with all of those giant phalluses all over the place.

Of course, the biggest phallic symbol of all, la Tour l'Eiffel.

I was feeling a bit inadequate in that photo.

We stayed near the jardin des tuileries. They tell me jardin is French for Garden. Here's a picture of a French garden.

In contrast, here are some shots from the rose garden in Hyde Park in London.

Just sayin'.

Here's us making the garden much prettier.

The Seine, the Most Romantic River on Earth.

Champs Elysee, the Most Romantic Street on Earth.

Of course, inside of the Pantheon is the Most Romantic Pendulum Clock ... you get the point.

The Pantheon was interesting. It's a secular church. The French inter their most beloved artists, philosophers and statesmen in the crypt below. I'm impressed that artists and writers are so revered in France that they are given a place of honor that isn't Graceland. They have great debates in Parliament on whether certain people should be let in. On the other hand, if we had that here, Hemingway would be interred next to Notorious B.I.G., so maybe it's for the best we don't have this.

This picture was taken expressly for Chris.

It was some kind of frozen food shop, not a starship factory.

Here we have the Arc de Triomph.

And here is the less popular Arc de Stalemate.

Of course everyone knows about the exquisite french cuisine. I must admit, this was one of the best meals I've ever eaten.

That's a hamburger patty with an egg on top. No shit, it's absolutely fantastic.

Most people don't know that Joan of Arc turned to stone seconds before she burned to death, and is kept at Notre Dame until technology can turn her back.

Finally, the Lourve. What can I say? I love museums, but not when I can't read anything written about the pieces. Yes, it's in France, but I've seen museums with descriptions written in 20 different languages, so my guess is it's possible to write in other than French.

As an aside, if you can't read French and/or don't like museums, you can skip the Louvre and still claim you went there. If anyone asks what it was like, just say the Mona Lisa was smaller than you thought it would be. Anyone who has seen it will believe you saw it.

Yep. That's it, with half of a human head as a scale.

Well, that's all for France. We actually took about 230 pictures, but I don't have the tenacity to come up with a funny caption for that many pictures. Hell, I wasn't able to do it for the ones I posted.

Your Bon Soir leader.