Lukey's Boat is Painted Green

("Lukey's Boat" - Trad.)

The Cutty Sark burned down. The irony is, the guy who started the fire was drunk on Jameson. Actually, they haven't found the cause of the fire yet, but they might want to look into this.

There's a new American "Idol." Since I've heard a total of 1 song from an Idol participant, and none from a winner, in the last year, this shouldn't be as big of a deal as is being made of it. However, I did hear the winning song that the new winner has to sing. It sounded like something written by Phil Collins on tranquilizers after reading "The Secret." In other word, it's perfect for the mediocrity that is "Idol."

The summer movie season has oficially begun. Spiderman can kiss my ass.

This information can be used for good or evil. Please use only for good. I'm not surprised to learn that the most venomous land animal lives in Austrailia. The continent was used to house "dangerous" human criminals for many year. It's fitting that it also houses the most dangerous creatuers in the world.

What a shock.

You scored as Scientific Atheist, These guys rule. I'm not one of them myself, although I play one online. They know the rules of debate, the Laws of Thermodynamics, and can explain evolution in fifty words or less. More concerned with how things ARE than how they should be, these are the people who will bring us into the future. Scientific Atheist 92% Apathetic Atheist 83% Militant Atheist 42% Agnostic 42% Spiritual Atheist 33% Angry Atheist 33% Theist 0% What kind of atheist are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Your It's Also a Type of Scotch leader.

Oh, So Offensive

Yet funny.

If this is too soon, just come back when it's not. I saw the Virginia Tech shooter on TV, and there was something about him that I couldn't put my finger on. KQRS figured it out. I'm linking this in the hopes that if mass killers are ridiculed rather than made into media heroes, people won't think they'll be famous by shooting up their peers.

Of course, as an atheist, I don't care about those who were killed.

I heard a student on the news say, "We feel like we can't do anything. At least we can pray." So she really can't do anything. Seriously, if someone would explain to me exactly how prayer is doing something, please do. "It makes me feel better" isn't a real answer, since drinking and smoking make me feel better, but I couldn't get on the news by saying, "I lost 2 friends this week. I'm going out to down some whiskey and smoke a pack of Camels."

Although that does sound like fun, I'll abstain tonight. Maybe just a movie.

Your Napolean Dynamite Still Sucks leader.

Support the Troops

Bring them home to this. (May not be work safe)

(via Bitch PhD)

Make sure they believe in God.

(via Ask an Atheist)

Also, make sure their kids know as little about sex as possible.

And give them a way to make a little extra cash when they get here.

Your Who Says Satire is Dead lader.

I Washed It Down With Gasoline and Dried It With A Match

If April showers bring May flowers, what do April snowstorms bring?

I believe that the worst act comitted by the Germans was not the Holocaust, but the introduction of accordions to the Mexicans.

Now that I've offended about 9 different groups, I'll continue.

This is an interesting post on Atheism. I put myself in the Awakened category. It was the realization that the stories I was being told were not original that got me to thinking, "What makes this telling of the story truth, and not the others." Why was Osiris' resurrection not worthy of worship? Or Mithras? Or Baldur? I came to the understanding that not believeing in all of the other deities had a logical conclusion of not believing in the Christian one.

I've heard tell that since some parts of the Bible are historically accurate, it must be true. We've found the ruins of Troy. Does this mean that Odysseus really faced the cyclops Polyphemus and the Sirens? Was Achilles truly dipped into the Styx and rendered invulnerable. (Speaking of which, why didn't his mother turn him over and dip his other foot into the river? Much suffering could have been avoided.) I like to think it did happen. I've wanted to take a cruise following the path of Odysseus through the Mediterranean Sea, with the ultimate hope of finding the lotophagi and having a lazy weekend.

Of course, unlike PZ, I don't hate the religious. I feel about the strongly devout the same way I do about devout fans of "American Idol." I get a little annoyed when I have to hear people talk about it all the time, but whatever makes you happy, right? I don't understand the obsession to such a weak show, but I do like some crappy TV myself.

If someone tried to force me to watch AI every week, I might get a little angrier. If I had to profess my love of Clay Aikin to be considered a good person in America, I might consider drastic measures.

(Ooh, doorbell - be right back)

I'm back. The Affiliate got a Fed-Ex delivery. And the delivery woman was cute as hell. Nice.

I've decided to abandon my last train of thought, because my point, if I had one, was getting lost in an overextended metaphor. That happens to me a lot.

I'm off to comfort the cat, who is frightened of the lawn mowers outside.

Your Kelly Clarkson is Not God leader.

P.S. I was kidding about the Holocaust. That was worse that the accordions. But not much.