Friday, August 31, 2007

I Guess I Was Wrong

Apparently, along with being crepuscular, chinchillas are also gender benders. At least mine is. A trip to the vet revealed that Claudette is not a female. So Claudette is now Leon, and we shall hopefully never speak of this again.

There is a show called "Masters of Science Fiction" running on ABC. Each episode is an hour long and based on a story from a great sci-fi writer. I caught "Jerry Was A Man," based on a Robert Heinlein story. The story was a predictable "Can a robot be human?" story, but it had a particularly funny scene. While swearing in the robot, the baliff does the normal truth, whole truth, etc. bit, and adds, "so help you God, Goddess, Buddha, Allah, Great Spirit, Higher Power, Gaia, and the Great Turtle That Holds Up The Universe?" It was the and that I found really amusing.

Checking some other links shows that this show is already done with its 4 episode run. So don't do looking for it on ABC. Maybe the Sci-Fi Channel will re-run them sometime, since I missed the first two.

While working at the State Fair, I was able to catch much of Weird Al's concert. What a great show he puts on. It's funny, and despite numerous costume changes, there isn't any down time, thanks to humorous video clips played between songs. His band is incredibly talented and versatile, which helps when Al's songs go from pop to grunge to rap-rock to gangsta rap. Those guys can play anything.

I was most surprised to see that the show was nearly sold out. The guy has been making goofy parodies forever, and still manages to pack the house. It's great to see a new generation of kids who probably "discovered" Weird Al recently see the master live and in person.

I'm guessing the Affiliate doesn't love me this much.
Which is a good thing.

Your Great Sleeping Weather Tonight leader.

Friday, August 24, 2007

He's Back, And He's Got A New Trick

We have a new family member. Her name is Claudette.

The Affiliate says she's a chinchilla, but I insist that it's a miniature giant space hamster. She's not too fond of us yet, but I think she'll grow to love us as much as The Hillock does.

Here's a video involving my hero and yours, Magical Trevor, dealing with chinchillas.

Of course, as I have mentioned before, chinchillas are actually crepuscular, not nocturnal as is said in the video.

Since I brought him up, get to know the full story of Magical Trevor at Weebls Stuff.

Another Snakes on a Plane moment.

More problems with religion.

I'm working at the Minnesota State Fair for much of the next week, so if you're down there in the evening, seek me out. I'll be the stunningly handsome guy in the light blue police uniform. Also, get yourself a Scotch Egg on a stick. I won't say you won't regret it, but man are they good.

Have a lovely weekend.

Your Parallel Dimension leader.

Friday, August 17, 2007


Today, I had to wake up to this:

D&D 4th Edition Coming.

I see a large amount of money leaking from my bank account...

Your It's Only Been 5 Years leader.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Something

It's summer. The birds are singing, the bees are trying to have sex with them (as is my understanding). So maybe I can be forgiven for being caught unawares by this letter, which was delivered to me in the dark of night by a cloaked rider astride a fire breathing horse. (h/t to Jeff)

Talk about a sneak attack. Will the right be prepared for us? No chance. An early strike is just the thing we need to make the putative 90% of Americans who are Xtians question their deeply held beliefs. Jesus blowing a Unicorn? Brilliant! Even the strongest faith will be shattered by that. If not, then saying Happy Holidays will certainly finish them off.

Of course, my War on Xmas decorations are still in the basement gathering cobwebs. Santa Cthulhu Itself lies dreaming in R'yleh (under my stairs). It is August, after all.

Considering that I am not on the receiving end of any of that Soros money (or cupcakes), I'm going to let the paid sock-puppets start the early work. I'm more of a guerrilla fighter in this war. Although I do go by the title "generalissimo." Look for me come November, after I've finished my Satan worshiping at Samhain.

Fine. My opening salvo. To Bill O'Reilly, I wish Happy Holidays and prospero año. (see, it's Happy Holidays, which Bill hates, and then Spanish, which Bill also hates).

Your Unpaid leader.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Baby Don't You Sign That Paper Tonight

I've been threatened with whiskey, which is a very strange threat. Except today, because I'm already feeling nauseous.

Another "Get Rich Quick" scheme is foiled. Still, eating glass may be more pleasant than playing the stock market right now.

I'm thinking that this group may deserve further study. I don't know why vampires are listed before zombies and werewolves though. Vamps are just one of those fake threats used to distract us from the real danger.

I got out to the Myth Nightclub to see Reel Big Fish last night. It was like a trip back to high school. I haven't been in a group of suburban teenage malcontents for quite some time, and it was fun. I don't know how a band that hasn't had any major airplay in 12 years still has fans, many of whom were 4 years old when "Sell Out" was a hit, but the new stuff they played was pretty good, so the kids must be hearing it somewhere. (As a side note, openers Streetlight Manifesto seriously rock.) Keep on skankin', kids.

Good joke.

An obvious answer to a stupid question. These stand-up comedy questions have started seeping into common culture, generally radio commercials. The problem is, many of them have legitimate answers. "Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?" for example. The answers aren't hard to figure out, but somehow they seem like clever questions. Mostly because many of us are too lazy to think about them for more than 3 seconds.

That should keep the whiskey away for a little while.

Your D-List leader.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Be Leavin' All Your Money On the Table When You Go

("Bugger Off" - Unk.)

I now know where Evil Bobby got his name. Seriously, buying me whiskey shots when you have a sober driver is a bastard move. I made it home OK, though.

Apparently, Mark thinks I'm the foremost Minnesota expert on zombies. I'll oblige his need for zombie information, if that makes him happy.

President Bush on the looming zombie threat:

I'm guessing he's talking about this kid:

Turtles is, of course, a zombie slang word for BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIINNS!!!!!!!

I'm going to take this moment to thank Attack of the Show. I've said it before, and I'll say it now - I sleep better knowing there is a program called "Attack of the Show" on TV. Morgan Webb still wins my nerd dude's dream contest, though.

For The Affiliate, when she wants to get more cats:

And a link for swiftee, who seems to have an obsession with gays

Sorry for the video heavy post.

Your Too Drunk To Fuck leader.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Scrolling Upscreen

In case you missed it. I drove this bridge every day until about 2 months ago.

Read this for some perspective. Tell the President and Sen. Klobuchar and Nick Coleman and Swiftee and everyone else to read it too. Don't start laying blame yet. If someone said something stupid yesterday and today, wait a few days to take them to task. Their post/comment/statement will still be around on Saturday. Piling on blame and counter-blame right now does no one any good. The time you spend griping could be spent giving blood.

I have police stuff to do at the bridge tonight, so no Drinking Liberally for me.

Your Give It a Rest leader.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Way to Go, My Friend

This guy is seriously funny. And he's correct too, especially about James Blunt.

Consensus - People have sex because it feels good. Quote: "(Responses) ranged from "It's fun" which men ranked fourth and women ranked eighth to "I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease" which ranked on the bottom by women. By women. Not men. What was last for men? I'm guessing "To make a woman happy." Other high ranking responses from men were "Revenge," "Just finished watching Women's Volleyball on ESPN," and "I had an extra $50 just lying around." The Number 1 reason women have sex was "I was asleep."

Another reason to be annoyed by The Church.

And finally, The Simpsons dominate the box office. Yes!

Your Revenge was My Answer leader.