Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Enduring Tortures, Most Of Which Rhyme

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes yes yes! I am not waiting for X-mas. No, I'm off today to buy my own copy.

Now, it's the X-mas season, which means there's a war on. That war is fought on one side by having several local radio stations play nothing but really bad X-mas music until next February. Here's an overview of some of the songs you'll be hearing, despite liberals making sure Christmas is banned in this country.

"Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer' - One of those traditional Christian tunes, about the savior of all humanity, Rudolph. Seriously, there's a version of this song that asks, "Do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?" If we don't recall him, he's not too famous, is he? Also, the song glorifies the fact that all of the bullies come to love Rudolph only after he proves useful to them. Nice message.

"The Christmas Song" - "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire ...' Great song. Evokes family and friendship. Isn't played enough.

"Jingle Bell Rock"/"Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" - Ironically, two of the least "rockin'" songs ever. They make "The Electric Slide" seem edgy.

"Oh Holy Night" - Perhaps my favorite Christmas song, even if it is religious. If sung simply, it can be quite beautiful.

"Silent Night"/"Stille Nacht" - Another good religious song. It's better in German.

"Happy Holiday" - A devious entry by notorious anti-Christian Bing Crosby. Still pretty annoying.

"A Wonderful Christmas Time" - Oh, Paul, how could you put all of the retail workers through this hell? You're lucky you were in The Beatles, or death would be too good for you.

"Last Christmas" - Wham made sure they wouldn't be forgotten. Perhaps being hated forever is better than not being remembered at all.

Of course, the newer X-mas songs tend to be the worst, yet they get a lot more air time. Anything to make my November and December even more unbearable, right?

Your Maybe This Christmas leader.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I Tried to Rise, But I Wasn't Able (Vikings 5-6)

("Nancy Whiskey" - Trad.)

I'll keep this in mind for my bachelor party.

It would take 24 shots of Whiskey to kill me
The Vikes are back in the playoff race. There's a sentence I didn't think I'd be writing for a few years. Apparently they own the New York Giants. Awesome.

Get better soon.

Your To The House leader.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007


Happy Thinksgiving, Thanksgiving and Thunksgiving. (You know, like Think, Thank, Thunk. Get it? (c Common Man)).

Turkey picture.

Wow. Two bad jokes in as many jokes.

Now a real Turkey.

Enjoy your meal, and give thanks that you aren't at work like I am.

Your Thankful leader.

Update: A little late, but keep this in mind for next year.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Officer Down

Mark Bedard 1973-2007

Please do whatever it is you do to remember people when they die. And give to his family, if you are able.


I probably should have put this here, since I asked you to donate:

c/o City County Federal Credit Union
4701 Chicago Ave. SouthMinneapolis, MN 55407


Donations can be dropped at anf CCFCU location.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

When Will We Be Married In The Same Bed

("When Will We Be Married" - The Waterboys)

Tommy "T.D." Mischke writes about marriage. Tradition be damned, this is a great post.
I went into my marriage knowing full well how badly I screwed up some important things in my life. Why assume I could master this? I only agreed to give it one hell of a shot.

Could it be put better than that? (Note to The Affiliate: Don't read that post ;))

Barreiro going to KSTP? I think it's funny that Ron Rosenbaum, who was fired from KSTP, is representing Barreiro on a possible move to KSTP. I'd put him on from 5-8, after Soucheray. He's better than Matt Thomas by a long shot. You could eliminate the need for the last half-hour of sports talk on GL, and while I wouldn't want an asset like Barreiro going to waste by preempting him for Twins games in the summer, KFAN had no problem doing it with the Timberwolves games, so it's doable.

I've tried to comment over at Shot in the Dark, but Wordpress won't let me sign in, no matter how often I register and get a password. In any case, I'll link this story as my response to Mitch's post. Not to mention that the guy in Mitch's story was carrying a gun and still couldn't prevent his car from being stolen. (via Norwegianity)

On a lighter note, here's an animal e-mail I got:

8 am-Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am-A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am-A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am-Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
Noon-Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:30-Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3pm-Chased a squirrel! My favorite thing!
5pm-Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7pm-Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8pm-Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!
11pm-Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear in their hearts, since it clearly demonstrated what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet while he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow--but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released-and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him
in an elevated cell, so he is safe....for now.

How true.

Your Wedding Bells leader.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Such A Lovely Day, And I'm Glad You Feel The Same (Vikings 3-5)

Well, the yearly sign of change from Fall to Winter has come again; An NFL rookie running for 296 yards. I'll just add that I saw the record breaking 109 yard field goal return live and in person. That's pretty sweet, even if it was the other team.

Also, there was snow yesterday. Just light flurries, but it made me smile.

To Mitch and my friends at The Patriot, the "Only conservative station in the Twin Cities*;" Apparently conservative isn't what sells here. You can make fun of Air America for being a terrible radio station (I basically agree), but they gained listeners while you lost listeners, and now you have the same ratings. Maybe dead air and running 3 commercials at the same time isn't the best strategy. Or having only 8 hours of local programming a week. Or having multiple hosts with the exact same show day in and day out. Oh well, I'm sure that joining Townhall will help to diversify your shows and make them more interesting.

*(I heard this on a NARN show. It reminds me of one of the other "Only conservative stations" here, KTLK, calling itself the "First FM news talk" station in the Twin Cities. As if FM 107 hasn't been around for a while. Although FM 107 is woman oriented, so I guess it really doesn't count as news talk. The probably just talk about shoes and baking and stuff.)

Sometimes I can't help but feel schadenfreude, especially when it comes to people as haughty as the NARNians.

Your Record Breaking leader.

Friday, November 02, 2007

This Is Halloween

Wow. Ok. Seriously? Even Michael Medved is against Halloween, but because he believes it is an occult holiday. His wife disagrees (and why can't he keep her in line?), but I think Medved has more of a playful rejection of the holiday than Hannity. Of course, one of Medved's arguments was that Halloween didn't pop up in America until the 50's, so it isn't a real tradition. I wonder how he feels about "In God We Trust" appearing on our money (At least since the 1950's).

Hannity, on the other hand, is just a schmuck.

Your Witches And Warlocks leader.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

The Sun Is Burning In The Sky

My title today comes from a discussion with Mark about what folk music is. I could have gone with "Tom Dooley," but I decided against it.

As The TK LappDogg pointed out in the comments a bit back, The MN Swarm season is back on. Its home schedule will be released as soon as they contact their fans and find out when they can show up. (Joke courtesy of the Pioneer Press' "The Loop")

Anyway, my real point today is a quick overview of TV this year. At least the shows I watch.

Mon: "How I Met Your Mother" has been coupled with a good partner, "The Big Bang Theory." If you're a mid-twentys aged nerd, you really need to watch this stuff. "Heroes" is boring this year but not as bad as the critics keep saying. I'm really digging "Journeyman" as a new "Quantum Leap," with a little less camp factor. "Prison Break" and "K-Ville" are another good match, although "Prison Break" is still saddled with the problem of trying to get a guy out of prison on a timeline, but not too quickly. Anthony Anderson on "K-Ville" is awesome, as usual.

Tues: Only "The Unit" on Tuesday. I'm mostly upset that they changed the theme song from the old running cadence to something more mysterious. Still a solid show.

Wed: "Bionic Woman" is watchable for now, but I can see it getting old quickly. At least, outside of the watching Michelle Ryan. That won't get old for many years. "Life," on the other hand, is the most compelling new show this year for me. The writing and humor are sharp, and the characters are well acted. Adam Arkin is welcome in any TV show, as far as I'm concerned. Also, NBC has put two British actors playing Americans in main roles in successive shows, which I find interesting.

Thurs: NBC's comedy block has gotten stale. (Note: I don't watch "30 Rock.") On the other hand, "The Office" is still funnier than most shows, and "My Name is Earl," when it's funny, rivals "The Office." "Earl" just happens to miss more often than it hits. "Scrubs" just came back, so we'll see if it stays funny. "ER" and "Grey's Anatomy" are now the same show. How long until "Anatomy" has no original cast members left" I give it 4 years. I'm also still watching "Smallville," but don't ask me why. "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" continues to be the most offensively funny show on TV. Seriously, those guys make the "Seinfeld" characters look like saints.

Fri: I decided to try out "Moonlight," and I'll stick with it as long as my DVR doesn't get too backed up. Vampire detective hot for non-vampire tabloid reporter. We all know the story.

Sat: "Torchwood" is an impressive "Doctor Who" spin-off. There have been some very good episodes, and the whole mythology is intriguing, at least for a sci-fi guy like me.

I'll ignore Sunday, because the Fox "Animation Domination" hasn't changed a lick.

That's all.

Your Too Much TV leader.