Somebody Save Me

I've woken up in what can only be described as "moderate-to-strong pain" the last two days, which means I haven't gotten to the club to work out, which means I am feeling lazy this week. Apparently I'm not sleeping very soundly, and I have no idea why.

Pain won't stop me from getting out to DL tonight. Rumor has it that PZ Myers, the guy who introduced me to lefty blogs, may be dragging his tentacled self out to the 331 Club tonight. I can't resist the siren's call....

Have you ever planned a wedding? Here's an exchange between The Affiliate and I from today:

A: Ok, do you want to walk your mom down the aisle before my brother walks my mom down, or do you want Brian to walk your mom down the aisle before my brother walks my mom and you will just walk around the side and get on the alter without walking down the aisle?

Big decisions!

Me:I'll walk my mom down. Although, I'm pretty sure she can walk by herself, being a grown woman and all. She's a tough cookie, you know. ;) Do I get to walk to the same song as everyone else? Or does that start after I'm already at the altar, checking my watch?

My wedding party march is "Scotland the Brave" from a great bagpipe music CD I have, by the way. It also happened to be my high school fight song, which is awesome.

This won't be served at the wedding: "Texan Faces charges Over Snake Vodka." Apparently he put baby rattlers in vodka and sold it without a liquor license. The man is also the "state's largest exporter of live turtles to Asia." That is something I would like to someday be. Although I'm not sure if he exports the most turtles to Asia, or if he simply has more volume than other exporters. Also, the fact that there are multiple live turtle exporters in Texas interests me.

We'll see how pissed The Affiliate is about this post. At least I didn't correct her spelling of "altar" publicly.

Oops.

Your Soon To Not Be Engaged leader.

Anywhere's A Better Place To Be

Oh, RepubliCain Party, can't you keep your voters in line? I mean, calling an election before the votes are counted is normal, but now you're doing it to your own people? It's almost like you want McCain to be your nominee now, and not wait to see what the people want. I can't wait to see what they pull in the general election. Swiftee likes to call the Dems the "party of scrubs" because they're all corrupt. I wonder if he has moved to the Constitution Party, now that the RepubliCain Party has shown that it is as dishonest as any other group. (Again)

On the other hand, the RepubliCain Party members have money, and they know how to drink.

Republicans coming to their national convention in September can buy a "pony shot" of 55-year-old single-malt scotch, fresh from a famed 184-year-old distillery in the Scottish Highlands.

For $525 a glass.

Yum. That's only 3 days of work for me. Less, if I can get time away during the overtime extravaganza that will be the RNC. If you can afford it, please, please, please don't put ice in your drink.

I saw "Cloverfield" this weekend. It was pretty good. However, the concession stands should be selling Dramamine before each show. When it comes to shaky cameras, Blair Witch ain't got shit on Cloverfield. So I was having trouble enjoying the monster action, trying not to throw up, when near the end they throw in some strobe lights. I'm pretty sure it was intentional. The monster was cool, though, and despite the nausea I did enjoy the movie, so I can recommend it. Maybe on a smaller screen at home for the weak of stomach.

Back to work today after 6 days off. I hope the city is still there. i haven't really checked.

Your Nauseated leader.

I Tried to Rise, But I Wasn't Able (Vikings 5-6)

("Nancy Whiskey" - Trad.)

I'll keep this in mind for my bachelor party.

It would take 24 shots of Whiskey to kill me
The Vikes are back in the playoff race. There's a sentence I didn't think I'd be writing for a few years. Apparently they own the New York Giants. Awesome.

Get better soon.

Your To The House leader.

Friday Fake Product Blog

For anyone who likes to drink liberally.