Science, Y'all!

Not safe for work.

This is funny. A country song about science.




"I'll put my jism/In your schism/Make another organism." Classic! (update: Embed, YES!)

Check around, they also have a song about Pi.

Nothing more to see here.

2 Posts in One Day

This is really unprecedented, but I had a few questions about something I read over at the Cucking Stool. Apparently, the gloriously unfunny Kathy Griffin decided that thanking God and Jesus wasn't the way to go after (*sigh*) receiving an Emmy for her (*sigh*) "reality" show, (oh come on, seriously? *sigh*) "My Life on the D-List."

“A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this. He had nothing to do with this,” Griffin said in her acceptance speech. “Suck it, Jesus. This award is my God now.”

Now the Catholic League got pissed about this, calling it "hate speech." The Emmy people caved like a cheap card table, leading Bill Donohue to applaud censorship -

“The Academy of Television Arts & Sciences reacted responsibly to our criticism of Kathy Griffin’s verbal assault on 85 percent of the U.S. population. The ball is now in Griffin’s court. The self-described ‘complete militant atheist’ needs to make a swift and unequivocal apology to Christians. If she does, she will get this issue behind her. If she does not, she will be remembered as a foul-mouthed bigot for the rest of her life.”

Here's the question; Why is this hate speech? She didn't say, "Suck it, Catholics." I mean, Jesus would have a right to be offended if he weren't dead or imaginary, depending on the reference you use, but she did not direct her statements towards Christians in general, did she? She made an insult towards an individual, not a group. How does that make her a bigot? Also, if the award is her god, isn't this censoring religious speech?

Here's another interesting quote:

“It is sure bet that if Griffin had said, ‘Suck it, Muhammad,’ there would have been a very different reaction from the crowd and from the media who covered this event. To say nothing of the Muslim reaction.”

This quote is valid. If she had said this, Muslims would be denouncing Kathy Griffin and demanding that she be censored and demanding a swift and unequivocal apology, calling her a foul-mouthed bigot if she didn't do so.

Me, I'd still think the joke was funny. Which would raise the total of Kathy Griffin jokes I've found funny to one.

This would not have been an insult to Christians if they hadn't somehow decided they are being persecuted by the vast minority of non-Christians in America. Tell me again how it's possible that your claimed 85% of the country is somehow being held down by the few of us atheists who might want to make a joke or two about the people running the country? If a person who makes a disparaging remark involving god or Jesus is a Christian, are they then a bigot? Will you revise your 85% down to exclude anyone who makes any jokes about Jesus?

Is it possible the "Christian community" has gotten a little thin-skinned? Hell, no one watches the Emmys. This would have gone unheard if not for the Catholic League. I'm pretty sure your religion can survive some jokes. As Kevin Smith said, god must have a sense of humor - he created the platypus, right?

Your Dodging Lightning leader.

Way to Go, My Friend

This guy is seriously funny. And he's correct too, especially about James Blunt.



Consensus - People have sex because it feels good. Quote: "(Responses) ranged from "It's fun" which men ranked fourth and women ranked eighth to "I wanted to give someone else a sexually transmitted disease" which ranked on the bottom by women. By women. Not men. What was last for men? I'm guessing "To make a woman happy." Other high ranking responses from men were "Revenge," "Just finished watching Women's Volleyball on ESPN," and "I had an extra $50 just lying around." The Number 1 reason women have sex was "I was asleep."

Another reason to be annoyed by The Church.

And finally, The Simpsons dominate the box office. Yes!

Your Revenge was My Answer leader.

Support the Troops

Bring them home to this. (May not be work safe)

(via Bitch PhD)

Make sure they believe in God.

(via Ask an Atheist)

Also, make sure their kids know as little about sex as possible.

And give them a way to make a little extra cash when they get here.

Your Who Says Satire is Dead lader.

Ice on My Fingers and My Toes

("Aqua Teen Hunger Force Theme")

The cold has come. -9 degrees F isn't so bad. That's negative 9, by the way. Fahrenheit (The one that doesn't make any basic sense, but is more accurate than Celcius). It's better than 100 degrees and sunny. One can always put more clothes on, but one can only take so much off before being arrested. Or so totally sunburned as to wish you had been. Anyway, the cold keeps out the riff-raff.

I'm Traumatized! Our brave astro-men will defeat the evil Mooninites and their 7,000 dimensions. Already, the enemy has used its Foreigner belt to make Minnesota "Cold as Ice."


(pic via Fecke as well)

When I first heard this story, they said an Adult Swim cartoon had caused a terror alert in Boston. I immediately said "Must be 'Aqua Teen Hunger Force,'", to which my trainer said "Huh," having never heard of "Aqua Teen Hunger Force." But I knew deep down that I was right. And I was.

The definition of integrity.

Apparently eagles are getting starved for attention.

Finally, here's your chance to learn something you should already know.

Your Cryogenic leader.

I got a Swirly from the Pope

This seems like something being made up to make the Dems look bad, but I'm seeing it mentioned in too many places, and my usual sources on bullshit are silent on the matter.

Section 220 of S. 1, the lobbying reform bill before the Senate, would require grassroots causes, even bloggers, who communicate to 500 or more members of the public on policy matters, to register and report quarterly to Congress, as lobbyists are required. (Emphasis mine)

Seriously? People who speak to the public must report? Please, friends, explain the point behind this. I'm willing to accept that this isn't the blatant attack on the 1st Amendment that on the face of it it appears to be, but it will take some convincing. Get to work.

Luckily I have only had 647 visitors since August, so I'm in no danger from Congress. At least not for this blog.

Somehow, I didn't forsee that using song lyrics as my post titles would bring more visitors looking for the songs. I certainly didn't think I would list first on Google for a certain Muse lyric ("No one's gonna take me alive" from "Knights of Cydonia") that brought 25 people here this week. I'm still up there for Kristin Stinar searches too, but, alas, I have no further information on her.

I need to clean up my act. Incidently, the title for this post is c Jim Gaffigan.

I'm moving to dog-watch Monday. I also only work 6 of the next 20 days. A trick of scheduling has left me with too much free time and 2 weekends off in a row. Life is good for now.

Until Congress comes for me.

Your Time Off leader.

Post: Fuck it- I've been trying to edit the font on this post for 20 minutes. It got fucked up and will not allow itself to be fixed. You win this time, Blogger.

Life On Death Mountain

It's not as fun as you might think.

Scroll down to the Death Mountain bit. It won't make you gay like soy.