Monday, September 29, 2008

Dear Chicago (Vikings 1-3)

Forces are conspiring to keep Chicago from playing the Tigers. How often does the same game get rained out twice? That weather maching sure is coming in handy for whoever controls it.

Oh, this should be a great show. Ryan Adams will walk off stage after 2 songs when someone request "Run to You," and Noel Gallagher will stab Liam in the eye. Actually, that sounds like it would be a lot of fun.

Also, our economy is collapsing under us because people decided they really don't want to give CEOs a whole lot of money for stealing. (No link. Not like you can't find one if you really want to read about the horror).

Vikes suck. Nothing more to say, except GO WILD!

Your Sickened leader.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Three Is The Magic Number

Twins lose! :(

But so does Chicago! :)

Yes it is; It's the Magic Number.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Twins In First

The Twins are in 1st place.

This has been another edition of Twins In First.

These Boots Are Made For Walkin'

Well, The Affiliate will be walking in next year's 3-Day. Please give if you are able.

Help The Affiliate reach her goal for the Twin Cities Breast Cancer 3-Day!

Remember, this is to save boobies. So if have boobies, or know someone who has boobies, or just like boobies, this is the cause for you.


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

She Says It Hurts But It's Worth It

"My friend, that was an ass-kicking."
- Ozzie Guillen, after the White Sox 9-3 loss to the Twins

And a quick take from earlier tonight:
LappDogg: "What's a hot dago?"
Me: "Milo Ventimiglia"

It's been that kind of night.

I don't know if I've mentioned it, but I have a friend who works as a director in Hollywood. He mostly does low budget stuff, commercials and small-time music videos. Anyway, this is a pretty funny commercial that he directed. Note the guy who covers his face with his hand; he was my high school homeroom teacher.

Enjoy the rest of your day.

Your Magic Number leader.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

I'm In Love With That Song (Vikings 1-2)

Well, the stone-cold kryptonite lock of the week was right again. Listen, when I attend a home Vikings game, they just don't lose. I think I've seen them beat Carolina 3 times now. Just trust me. Go Gus!

I survived my "Birthday Extravaganza," which consisted of meeting my parents at Grand Casino Hinckley. So, anyone who thought they may have been snubbed, rest assured that no one else was invited either. Everyone bu me won money, which is no shock at all.

By the way, if anyone knows where the casinos get their cut on poker tables, drop a comment in. I'm just curious.

I also caught the Cohen Brothers' (One of us! One of us!) new picture, "Burn After Reading." It is, shall we say, exactly what a Cohen Brothers movie should be. Strange people in way over their heads. Goofy characters with no idea what's actually going on. Frances McDormand and George Clooney. Pretty much what you'd expect if you know their work, and funny as hell. J.K. Simmons may have the best role in the movie, as a C.I.A. higher-up who is not a complete moron. He looks on much as we do, wondering exactly what the fuck is going on, as well as if he is, in fact, the only sane person on the planet. A solid 4 out of 5.

I'd also like to welcome Ms. Katherine to the blogoverse. She's maybe best known as the "Don't Come Back Girl," and since she put her first post up on my birthday, I'm obliged to mention her here. Her first video mentions she doesn't like Dane Cook, but does like marijuana. I thought maybe marijuana had something to do with why so many people like Dane Cook, but apparently that is not the case. Anyway, good luck, Katherine.

(As a side note, searching for "Katherine" at The Cucking Stool was a bad idea. Nothing but Kersten as far as I could scroll ...)

Here's to a 9-7 season, and the Vikings in the playoffs.

Your Overly Optimistic leader.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Happy Birthday To Me!

*Singing* This is my birthday song, it isn't very long. */singing* Yep. It's been 29 years. Here's to five more. (Just kidding.)

I'll first off renew my efforts to make Constitution Day, the real birthday of our nation, a national holiday (so I can get my birthday off). Here goes: The Declaration of Independence threw off the yoke of British rule (that, and the war). But our nation wasn't really born until the Constitution was ratified. So, really, Independence Day was the conception of our nation, while Constitution Day is the actual birthday.

OK. As a birthday gift, the Vikings have removed T-Jack from the starting QB position. I may have been the last T-Jack holdout, but the guy is awful. Frerotte isn't the answer, so they'll have to go out and find a real QB, but it's a step in the right direction. If things don't turn around, Childress should be next. The fact is, the Vikings were always going to be 0-2 at this point. The fact that they could have won both games shows they are close to being a winning team. Fire the coach now, and that's done. The QB position is the weak point on the team. See if a change works. If not, it's bye-bye Chilly.

Target Field is apparently the new home of the Minnesota Targets Twins. While I've never had a problem with the Target Center's name, noe the XCel Energy Center (which is actually a pretty good name), Couldn't we have called it Killebrew Field, Brought to You by Target or something similar? It would still be better than the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

I've been playing Rock Band 2 pretty much non-stop since Monday. It took the World Tour from the first game, which could only be played multiplayer, and made it the whole game. You can, of course, still quickplay, but there's more fun for a single player to customize the band and play all different instruments while moving towards the goal of stardom. Also, all but 3 songs from the first game can be exported and played in RB2, so I didn't have to give up "Tom Sawyer," "Say It Ain't So" or "Won't Get Fooled Again." And you can erase any songs you don't want from RB1, so I'll never have to see "Green Grass and High Tides" again for as long as I live. Awesome!

Speaking of video games, T Hussein Mississippifarian points out studies showing what I already knew. Number 7 in the second link should be of particular interest to anti-video game elites like Spotty:

7. Video game play is socially isolating.
Much video game play is social.
Almost 60 percent of frequent gamers play with friends. Thirty-three percent
play with siblings and 25 percent play with spouses or parents. Even games
designed for single players are often played socially, with one person giving
advice to another holding a joystick. A growing number of games are designed for
multiple players — for either cooperative play in the same space or online play
with distributed players... In this way there are really two games taking place
simultaneously: one, the explicit conflict and combat on the screen; the other,
the implicit cooperation and comradeship between the players. Two players may be
fighting to death on screen and growing closer as friends off screen. Social
expectations are reaffirmed through the social contract governing play, even as
they are symbolically cast aside within the transgressive fantasies represented

So there you go.

I guess I'm being unfair to Spotty. He's from the generation who thought Pong was awesome. Which it is, but it's not the only awesome game there is.

Apparently there's a Birthday Extravaganza! planned for me this weekend. If I survive, I'll see you all soon.

Your Rock'n Me Baby leader.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

What Goes On In the Other One's Head?

Whiskey drinker and notoriously Welsh guy DAV has picked up on my new game, before I even announced it. The game is to name the song that my post title comes from. Of course, not every title is a song lyric, but since most are, this should work. The game comes from a post from a while back that I never bothered to give the answers for, and my short lived attempt to identify the source of my titles. This is easier. Every post, answer in the comments. (If you listen to new "alternative" music, today's shouldn't be too hard)

I rode my bike down to the DMV to get my DL and my tabs renewed. The irony of this is not lost on me.

I just spent 15 minutes reading old posts of mine, looking for a specific link. Didn't find it, but damn do I find my old shit amusing.

I stumbled upon a free publication at Bobby & Steve's the other day. One headline touted the media refusal to cover Barack Obama's communist ties. The other headline touted the media refusal to cover John McCain's mob ties. I was intrigued.

After reading further, I thought USA Tomorrow made World Net Daily look like responsible journalism. (That was my money line) After checking the website, besides needing to purge my browser history, I also noticed that many of the articles were written by WND writers. (Damn them for ruining my joke!) Like this one, titled "Homosexodus! Students Flee Forced 'Gay' Agenda." Turns out that teachers can no longer discriminate against gay students in California. While I'm surprised that this law is new, I don't really think it's "mandated homosexual indoctrination" as the writer calls it. Points for the portmanteau "Homosexodus," though.

Then there's this article claiming women are destroying the military and the English language. I think. He took too long to get to the point in his nearly 2,500 word comment. Besides several sentence fragments that could have used some fixing, he seemed to use English perfectly well, despite women's assaults. But the article is called "Women and War," and not until 6 paragraphs in is war mentioned. Then he brings out the old complaints about how wives and mothers shouldn't fight wars. He seems to think Israel's military sucks, which is not an assertion I hear often. He also asks a question;
First, go to the movies. See “Midway.” See “We Were Soldiers,” or “Saving Private Ryan.” There are many others. Pick one. And consider that those movies are just a pale reflection of what war is really like. Then look at the women you know. Could you imagine the women you know doing that?
Some, yes. Same with the guys I know. I'd like Mr. Stang to tell a couple of my female partners that they couldn't do it to their faces, and see how that turns out for him.

Anyway, it goes on like that. I can't recommend that you read this site, but I'm not warning you until now, after I've put a few links in, not to, so that shows what kind of guy I am.

Yep. That would be an asshole who wants to see you suffer as much as I have tonight.

Your Who's Laughing Now? leader.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I Remember Throwin' Punches Around and Preachin' From My Chair

News Flash: John McCain is Against Protecting Kids from Sexual Predators.

What other reason does he have for attacking Obama on a bill that would protect kids from sexual predators? That's the ad I would run, but Obama spokesman Bill Burton had a decent response:
"It is shameful and downright perverse for the McCain campaign to use a bill that was written to protect young children from sexual predators as a recycled and discredited political attack against a father of two young girls - a position that his friend Mitt Romney also holds. Last week, John McCain told Time magazine he couldn't define what honor was. Now we know why."
As for the VP candidate, why is it when Obama suggests taxing oil companies, he's a socialist anti-American, but when Palin does it, there's no mention by the right? In fact, it sounds like he may have based his idea on hers.

Who knows what Palin thinks, when she can't tell the truth about anything. Of course she's getting good numbers. That's what happens when you say great things about yourself, no matter the truth of them.

Palin on the bridge to nowhere: "Thanks but no thanks." - It's easy to say "no thanks" when you no longer have any chance to get the money. Harder when you think the money is coming.

McCain on Palin selling the Governor's jet. "She sold it on eBay. And made a profit!" That one's completely true, except it didn't sell on eBay and she didn't make a profit.

Palin: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending." She could have saved them even more had she not taken extra pay to live at home. Yes it's legal. But seriously, is the salary of governor of Alaska so low that she can't afford to live in her own home?

I gained respect for Palin for her fight against corruption in Alaska, and that was after her nomination. Her own ethics charges keep going back and forth (The guy she wanted fired seems like he deserves it, but all of the testimony is biased). I hope she comes out clean on that. I still don't want her helping run the country.

This is why I don't write about politics much. While her statements may be technically true (She did put the airplane on eBay, after all), they are so misleading as to be totally worthless statements. I'm sure there's a list of these about the democratic ticket as well. In fact, here's one, just to be fair.

Oh, and as for all the talk about Obama raising my taxes, turns out it may not be true. According to this site, I would pay $791 more in taxes under McCain. The Affiliate and I would need to double our income and not have any kids to be better off under McCain. Taxwise, that is.

Your Discouraged leader.

Monday, September 08, 2008

To Leave You There By Yourself

The Affiliate is off to Munich for class. I am alone and the cat is mad at me. The chinchilla slept in his dust bath and refused to get out, even when I asked him nicely. I had to bribe him with a raisin. Nothing is going right, but luckily I have 4 days off this week to whip everyone into shape.

I went to my 10-Year High School Reunion on Saturday. The weird thing was, I didn't remember most of the people, but everyone knew me. I felt like Homer Simpson's description of celebrity: "People know your name, but you don't know theirs. It's great!"

I had fun and saw some people I hadn't seen in a long time, so I'm glad I went. I even got some prestige from declaring that my wife was in Munich, and since she wouldn't have had much fun had she been here, everything worked out for the best.

Spore came out this week. I'm not sure if I'm going to buy it yet, especially since the laptop is in Germany. Also, Mercenaries is out Tuesday, Rock Band 2 next week and Fallout 3 in mid-October. The game world is looking good for a while.

I'll probably be getting the band together again this week, so let me know if and when you're available.

Your "I Alone" leader.

Friday, September 05, 2008

RNC: Day 4

Twitter is awesome.

"From: Anarchist

cops, swat, horses, bikes, hundreds here, we're fucked"

Have a nice day.

(Note: I originally posted from memory. I updated ith the actual message after searching Twitter)

Monday, September 01, 2008

RNC Day 1

Closed Circuit to Bruce: Hi! (In case you didn't hear me during the march)

Closed Circuit to the Guy Carrying the "I Disagree With Several of Your Policies" Sign: Best. Sign. Ever!

That's it. What, you thought you'd get a first hand account? Not today.