Friday, February 29, 2008

March 1st ... No, Wait ... What Year Is It Again?

It's Leap Day. A very special day. The day we try and reconcile our calendar. Here's how we do it. Not the bibleists understand that.

OK, here's the thing. That's a video of a monkey riding a goat on a tightrope. Seriously. Also, the monkey does a handstand on the goat while it's on the tightrope. Simply awesome.

Everyone's favorite radio bloviator Michael Medved was going after Bill Cunningham for using Barack Obabma's middle name in a speech, calling it a cheap political smear. Which is funny, because I learned Obama's middle name in December of 2006 from ... wait for it ... Michael Medved, who called telling me Obama's middle name a "shocking revelation." I'm glad he has learned to take the high road, especially without pointing out his own trip down the low.

It looks like Mark has blogged himself out. I suppose that could be a good thing. We now all have enough time to go back and read all of those links he's been posting. You'd think that avoiding Drinking Liberally would give someone more time to write, but apparently not.

Speaking of DL, it was a small crowd last night. The inch or so of snow may have had something to do with it. Rumor is that Spotty was afraid to drive in from Cakeville. I can't blame him. He's a dog, and they aren't ever supposed to drive, let alone in slippery snow and ice. Christy (no link by her request) made it, however, and hopefully will continue to attend whether I'm there or not.

And a final blog question: What is with the changing site designs popping up around the ol' 'sphere? Kool-Aid Report went white background and sterile type. Then Jeremy at Afterglide did whatever the hell happened to that place, with more than half of the page taken up by whatever that shit on the right side is. Can we all agree that the majority of the page should be taken up by post content? No, I suppose not. However, I must point out that both Afterglide and KAR are poop-heavy content sites. Maybe that has something to do with the shitty layout. (See what I did there? Yeah, you do.)

Your 366 Days A Year leader.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Closed Circuit to Former "President For Life" Fidel Castro


Gracias por caminar abajo. Sé que está sido 49 años largos, especialmente puesto que usted no tenía las maquinillas de afeitar a afeitar durante ese tiempo. Ahora usted puede relajar e intentar y tomar el cuidado de sus dos puntos enfermos. La fuerza le sugiere toma un cigarro agradable, lo enciende, y lo empuja encima de su asno.

(This message brought to you by Babelfish)

I am reminded of a song ...
(Lyrics adapted for Señor Castro)

Wounds won't last long, but an insulting song
Fidel will always carry with him,
So I'll settle my score on the salsa floor,
With this vengeful Latin rhythm.

Con un corazón de perro.
Señor Cas-tro!!
El diablo con dinero.

It may not surprise you,
But all of us despise you,
Please die,
And fry,
In Hell,
You rotten,
Rich old wretch

(Song property of "The Simpsons," as performed by the inimitable Tito Puente)

Your Adios Viejo! leader.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Your Words, Not Mine

I just was listening to Michael M-E-D as in Demagogue-V-E-D, and I find out that Sen. Obama has been plagiarizing a speech from Gov. Patrick of Massachusetts. A speech that Patrick gave to Obabma to use. Almost like a speechwriter.

But I've done some digging, and I've discovered that Patrick also was plagiarizing when he made the speech.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident," I have found, comes from an old writing of Thomas Jefferson. "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country," comes from a former prominent Democrat. And "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself," is from a guy who held a coup to keep the presidency for more than 2 terms!

Obviously this story needs to be looked into further. But not until we've gotten to the bottom of why people are fainting at Obama rallies.

Obviously these are staged. How could anyone possibly call for medics (or EMT's; although each occurrence was "exactly the same," he used different words, that sneaky guy), tell people to give someone who fainted space and offer water to someone who fainted? They couldn't. There's no way that a speaker at a crowded rally where people have been waiting around all day to get a good spot could possibly be prepared for someone to faint. It must be staged.

Obama must be a fraud. There's no way this many people are looking for a different style of leadership when everything in America is just peachy, like it most certainly is right now, and anyone who says differently is deranged and hates America and is probably a terrorist.

Your Cribbed Notes leader.

I Don't Ever Wanna Taste These Tears Again

It's been a whole week, and absolutely nothing to write about. That's the funny thing about my blogging style. There could be big news stories, political wrangling and entertainment fixes, but it's possible that none of them appeal to me. Or I could just be too lazy to comment. You make the call.

Actually, the writer's strike ended too soon for me. I'd like to see "Journeyman" and "Life" come back this fall, and now I'm afraid that the writers and networks will have enough time to develop some crap to replace them.

Baby orangutan is named Jaya. I think Louie would have been a better name, but I'm sure that's been done before.

Perfect Peace can be found in Iowa
. Who knew?

Looking for a good cry? This is the story for you.

Your Trying To Keep Active leader.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Anywhere's A Better Place To Be

Oh, RepubliCain Party, can't you keep your voters in line? I mean, calling an election before the votes are counted is normal, but now you're doing it to your own people? It's almost like you want McCain to be your nominee now, and not wait to see what the people want. I can't wait to see what they pull in the general election. Swiftee likes to call the Dems the "party of scrubs" because they're all corrupt. I wonder if he has moved to the Constitution Party, now that the RepubliCain Party has shown that it is as dishonest as any other group. (Again)

On the other hand, the RepubliCain Party members have money, and they know how to drink.

Republicans coming to their national convention in September can buy a "pony shot" of 55-year-old single-malt scotch, fresh from a famed 184-year-old distillery in the Scottish Highlands.

For $525 a glass.

Yum. That's only 3 days of work for me. Less, if I can get time away during the overtime extravaganza that will be the RNC. If you can afford it, please, please, please don't put ice in your drink.

I saw "Cloverfield" this weekend. It was pretty good. However, the concession stands should be selling Dramamine before each show. When it comes to shaky cameras, Blair Witch ain't got shit on Cloverfield. So I was having trouble enjoying the monster action, trying not to throw up, when near the end they throw in some strobe lights. I'm pretty sure it was intentional. The monster was cool, though, and despite the nausea I did enjoy the movie, so I can recommend it. Maybe on a smaller screen at home for the weak of stomach.

Back to work today after 6 days off. I hope the city is still there. i haven't really checked.

Your Nauseated leader.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Rock Out With Your Caucus Out: The Aftermath

I attended a part of my caucus. I was sick and very cranky, and when our precinct chair couldn't figure out when our district convention was or how many delegates we had, I had to leave. The Affiliate stayed, got elected district chair and as a delegate, and counted the votes. We had 70 votes, with about 30-35 42 staying past the President ballot. Obama won handily with 40 votes.

Someone managed to convince the chair we should have a Senate straw poll. Non-binding, of course. Franken won, Nelson-Pallmeyer was a close second with Ciresi not even close.(Update: Franken 20 Uncommitted 12 Nelson-Pallmeyer 7 Ciresi 3) I would have voted uncommitted.

My motion to abolish the party endorsement process failed. The Affiliate didn't know what it was about, and I wasn't there to explain it. Basically, I suggested that the primary election should choose our candidate, not party insiders. A shocking motion, I know.

Local caucus recap.

National Super Tuesday recap

Since chances are you'll have no real choice in your Senate candidate, this test is pretty worthless. Take it anyway. Then you can be outraged when a small minority of party insiders get to pick their Earl. (Representatives come in as counts, State Senators viscounts and State Reps barons. You get the metaphor.) I got a three-way tie for Democratic candidates, which is not surprising to me in the least. (Note: The question on energy policy is incomprehensible and simply reading it may cause the appearance of Tsathoggua. Read at your own peril.)

I'm considering contacting someone and offering my services as precinct chair in 2 years. Will Rogers was a funny guy, but it's not funny when the process is so convoluted and disorganized that it scares people away.

Speaking of counts, The Count used to be the guy to go to for election results. This video shows he has found a new pastime.

Your Convincing Victory leader

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Rock Out With Your Caucus Out

MN Caucuses tonight. In case you hadn't heard.

Remember, we're voting on the future leaders of our country. People who could have access to remote controlled robot spy insects.

PZ has a video that makes Mike Huckabee seem somehow appealing.

Yet another supposedly clever (and non-political, at least not anymore) question answered.

Really, I'm just looking for filler so I could title my post for today. I didn't even come up with it. At least I don't think so. I'm pretty sure I heard it somewhere.

Your Vote leader.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Tied To Machines That Make Me Be

I asked at DL tonight, but no one seemed interested in the discussion. I am looking for some platform items to propose at the DFL caucus on Tuesday. Leave a comment with any and all ideas. If I agree or don't care, I'll bring it up on Tuesday.

OK, I didn't get anyone into the first round of this, but go vote for the Best Metal Song of All Time, at KAR. You can guess my vote from the title of this post.

Amber is giving fashion advice to men. It's a lengthy post, and one I can't comment on, being that I'm a man who doesn't care about fashion or attracting a woman (anymore). I will add that wearing a police uniform in Downtown Minneapolis is a good fashion move to attract women, providing that you are an actual cop (being arrested is usually not very becoming).

I thought I would respond with my fashion advice for women to attract men.

1. Wear something that accentuates your breasts and/or rear end and/or legs.

That's pretty much it.

Your "I Can Not Live, I Can Not Die" leader.