Victory is Mine!

Well, it appears as though my crusade has been successful. I haven't heard the Chicken Dance commercial all week. Our voices (especially mine) have been heard. Congratulations to you all (but mostly me)!

The Affiliate would like me to inform you that she will be participating in the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3 Day Walk, Aug. 24-26 here in the Twin Cities. As I understand it, it is a walk to raise money to cure cancer, not for cancer as I originally thought. Anyway, she needs to raise $2,500. If you would like to donate you can click here. I will have a permanent link on the site in case you would like to donate later. Of course, any amount will be appreciated and it's for a good cause (Again, it's to fight cancer, not help cancer). Thanks a lot.

To keep from seeming too serious, here's a new item from Apple - The iRack.



Your Shameless Begging leader.

Update: NOOOOOOOO!!! The Affiliate heard the commercial on the radio this afternoon. Oh well, we'll soldier on. And that doesn't mean you shouldn't donate.

What's That Blue Thing Doing Here?

(They Might Be Giants)

This is a call to action.

I want everyone who reads this to write a letter to Cub *edit: It's actually Rainbow* Foods. Then tell your friends to write letters.The letter should somehow involve the following line:

"I will not shop at your store again until you stop using that fucking Chicken Dance commercial."

I also suggest you tell every radio station and TV station that runs the commercial that you will not listen to or watch them until they refuse to play the commercial. (OK, who am I kidding? No one watches or listens to commercials anymore.) Feel free to leave out the profanity, but I'm expecting it may be necessary to get the point across.

We will boycot companies for human rights violations and racist comments. Surely you would agree that this is just as important. What better way to stage a hunger strike than to simply stop buying groceries?

I never thought I'd see the day when those "Cub; The Store Next Door" commercials with the blathering idiots they portray as shoppers at their store (people who generally make me want to move to another galaxy so as to avoid having to converse with them) would actually make me feel like patronizing their business. But here we are.

The "Chicken Dance" needs to be stopped, and giving it an audience outside of weddings won't help kill it. It will only make it stronger.

Who is with me?

Your I Don't Wanna Be A Chicken leader.

Oh, So Offensive

Yet funny.

If this is too soon, just come back when it's not. I saw the Virginia Tech shooter on TV, and there was something about him that I couldn't put my finger on. KQRS figured it out. I'm linking this in the hopes that if mass killers are ridiculed rather than made into media heroes, people won't think they'll be famous by shooting up their peers.

Of course, as an atheist, I don't care about those who were killed.

I heard a student on the news say, "We feel like we can't do anything. At least we can pray." So she really can't do anything. Seriously, if someone would explain to me exactly how prayer is doing something, please do. "It makes me feel better" isn't a real answer, since drinking and smoking make me feel better, but I couldn't get on the news by saying, "I lost 2 friends this week. I'm going out to down some whiskey and smoke a pack of Camels."

Although that does sound like fun, I'll abstain tonight. Maybe just a movie.

Your Napolean Dynamite Still Sucks leader.

Support the Troops

Bring them home to this. (May not be work safe)

(via Bitch PhD)

Make sure they believe in God.

(via Ask an Atheist)

Also, make sure their kids know as little about sex as possible.

And give them a way to make a little extra cash when they get here.

Your Who Says Satire is Dead lader.

I Washed It Down With Gasoline and Dried It With A Match

If April showers bring May flowers, what do April snowstorms bring?

I believe that the worst act comitted by the Germans was not the Holocaust, but the introduction of accordions to the Mexicans.

Now that I've offended about 9 different groups, I'll continue.

This is an interesting post on Atheism. I put myself in the Awakened category. It was the realization that the stories I was being told were not original that got me to thinking, "What makes this telling of the story truth, and not the others." Why was Osiris' resurrection not worthy of worship? Or Mithras? Or Baldur? I came to the understanding that not believeing in all of the other deities had a logical conclusion of not believing in the Christian one.

I've heard tell that since some parts of the Bible are historically accurate, it must be true. We've found the ruins of Troy. Does this mean that Odysseus really faced the cyclops Polyphemus and the Sirens? Was Achilles truly dipped into the Styx and rendered invulnerable. (Speaking of which, why didn't his mother turn him over and dip his other foot into the river? Much suffering could have been avoided.) I like to think it did happen. I've wanted to take a cruise following the path of Odysseus through the Mediterranean Sea, with the ultimate hope of finding the lotophagi and having a lazy weekend.

Of course, unlike PZ, I don't hate the religious. I feel about the strongly devout the same way I do about devout fans of "American Idol." I get a little annoyed when I have to hear people talk about it all the time, but whatever makes you happy, right? I don't understand the obsession to such a weak show, but I do like some crappy TV myself.

If someone tried to force me to watch AI every week, I might get a little angrier. If I had to profess my love of Clay Aikin to be considered a good person in America, I might consider drastic measures.

(Ooh, doorbell - be right back)

I'm back. The Affiliate got a Fed-Ex delivery. And the delivery woman was cute as hell. Nice.

I've decided to abandon my last train of thought, because my point, if I had one, was getting lost in an overextended metaphor. That happens to me a lot.

I'm off to comfort the cat, who is frightened of the lawn mowers outside.

Your Kelly Clarkson is Not God leader.

P.S. I was kidding about the Holocaust. That was worse that the accordions. But not much.

I'll Make a Brand New Start of It

Here are your instructions for today.

Go to Google Maps. Click on get directions. Get directions from New York, New York to Paris, France.

Read #23.

Get on wih the rest of your day.

The Law of 23 is always true.

Your That's A Lot of Help leader.

We'll Be Watching Over You

This is not me, or my friends. Really.




So, I've been working a lot and I haven't had anything interesting to write about that isn't work related (which I won't write about).

Sorry.

Your I Swear I'll Make It Up To You leader.