Monday, March 01, 2010

Now Put Your Hands Up!

The Olympics are over! I'm finally free!

Does anyone know where I can watch a random cross-country skiing race?

The biggest hoax of the 20th Century is finally debunked. Proof that the Titanic never sank. One point:
The bottom of the sea is a messy place. Whales die there and their skeletons become home for all sorts of stuff. Have you seen a whale? They’re huge, especially the huge ones. Imagine one of those possibly killed by one of those stealth CO2 emitting volcanoes that no-one’s found yet. Yet amongst all this there’s supposed to be a ’shipwreck’. Against the vast majesty of nature, isn’t a tiny bit arrogant to assume that man could do anything noticeable on the sea-bed?
Let's find the purveyors of this nonsense and make sure they're brought to justice.

A dating tip for women, courtesy of Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal. It is 100% true.

Use it wisely.

Your "London 2012, Here We Come" leader.


Anonymous said...

Congratulations are in order!

"According to Finance Department documents, the MPD has paid out $8,738,999.37 since 1/07.

This averages out to $2,912,999.79,
which is a substantial increase from the historical yearly average of $1,848,672.75 in the 2003-2006 period.

Nice to see that at least one of the city's public services is increasing productivity...nice work, stool!

Anonymous said...

That means MPD's taser, boot and baton parties cost taxpayers $7,79.59 per day;
$332.59 per hour, 24 hours per day.

Way to go!

DiscordianStooge said...

Hey, swiftee.

This would have been the perfect thing to post at your own blog, since it has nothing to do with my post.

Anonymous said...

Stool, I can't understand how you could fail to see the connection between "Now put your hands up!" and boots, bullets, batons and tasers...sounds like the narrative of an average MPD patrol shift.

You're just being coy, aren't you?

Anonymous said...

It's actually quite simple, Stooge. You're the only one who lets him comment any more.