It begins. International Talk Like A Pirate Day is about to begin here in the Central Daylight Time Zone. Arr, me mateys. We shall tell jokes that will make yer skin boil and yer blood crawl.
Why couldn't the young pirate see the movie? It was rated arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
How does a pirate poison someone? He uses arrrrrrsenic.
What do pirates do when they disagree? They arrrrrrrrrrrrgue.
How does a pirate keep his refrigerator smelling fresh? Arrrrrrrrrm and Hammer.
What happened to the pirate who broke a minor rule while serving in the Navy? He got an Arrrrrrrrrticle 15. (Bet you didn't see that one coming)
And as a Navy man, the college football game he most looked forward to was against Arrrrrrrrrmy.
He got tickets to see the Arrrrrmy/Navy game once. He sat on the 50 yarrrrrrrd line.
What is a pirate's favorite drink? Rum, of course.
The pirate doesn't mix rum with Diet Coke, though. Know why? It has arrrrrrtificial sweeteners.
What kind of music do pirates like? Arrrrrr & B.
And the pirate's favorite Arrrrrr & B singer? Arrrrrrrrrrr Kelly.
Our pirate likes to tell jokes as well. He doesn't tell them very well, though. One joke he likes ends like this: "Arrrrrnge you glad I didn't say banana again?"
I will update throughout the day.
Your One Day for Pirate Puns leader.