Kiss The Killers And The Kind And The Crude

For the end of the year ....

There's a post over at Shot in the Dark on the use of "uber" as a superlative prefix. Of course Mitch uses the u-umlaut, but since I don't know how to type an u-umlaut, I don't. And since few Americans can pronounce an u-umlaut, it really doesn't matter.

Anyway, I've been wanting to make a ranking of superlative prefixes for a while, and now I will. They are, from lowest to highest:

super
mega
ultra
uber
super-ultra-mega
hyper

(e.g. Mega-Man is superior to Superman. Which should be obvious. A robot who steals the powers of his enemies is obviously better than an alien who is allergic to rocks.)

Interestingly, hyper is used far more often than the lesser super-ultra-mega. (53 million Google hits vs. 100,000) My guess is it is laziness on the writer's part. Fewer keystrokes and all.

Well, I hope I've helped with folks trying to figure out just how good something that is awesome really is. This is important after all. This post was in no way a simple attempt to pad my posting stats.

Have a happy 2009!

Your Auld Lang Syne leader.

DIckhead, Dickhead, Dickhead; Check It Out!

Oh, Rod Blagojevich, you rascally bastard. Appointing a senator whilst facing indictment for probably trying to sell that senate seat.

“The people of Illinois are entitled to have two United States senators represent them in Washington, D.C,” Blagojevich said, Unfettered by the cloud of controversy surrounding his ongoing investigation. “As governor, I am required to make this appointment. If I don't make appointment, then people of Illinois will be deprived of their appropriate voice and vote in the U.S. Senate.”

Fuck you, you arrogant prick. We here in Minnesota don't know who our next senator is, and our Governor may have to appoint someone. He's in no hurry. Is there any chance you're afraid you won't be in office on the 20th of January?

At least the guy he picked seems like an adequate choice. Of course, who knows if he paid for the seat? That's the inherent problem with the situation. Burris would have been better off refusing to be appointed in such a situation.

And Burris is the consummate politician, of course.

“I have no comment on what the governor's circumstance is. And as a former attorney general of this state, I know and I think most of you all know, that in this legal process, you're innocent until you're proven guilty.”

But Burris had much stronger words for Blagojevich just two weeks ago after Blagojevich was arrested.

“The evidence that's been presented is purely appalling," he said at a Dec. 13th news conference. "Should that come out to be the case of what our governor was attempting to do, I find it just reprehensible."

Nothing more political than taking the exact opposite stand from week to week. Again, the honorable thing to do is wait.

But wait, there's more. The Senate has threatened to deny Burris the seat. They've said all along that Blago shouldn't appoint anyone, because, "Anyone appointed by Gov. Blagojevich cannot be an effective representative of the people of Illinois and, as we have said, will not be seated by the Democratic caucus."

But that doesn't sit well with former black panther and current congressman from IL Bobby Rush. Let's go to the story:

“I applaud the governor for his decision and I would ask you to not hang or lynch the appointee, as you tried to castigate the appointer -- separate, if you will, the appointee from the appointer."

Fuck you, Congressman. Lynch? Would you have used that word if a white guy was going to be denied the seat? You're full of shit. As we see here:

"There are no African-Americans in the Senate," Rush said. "And I don't think that anyone — any U.S. senator who's sitting in the Senate right now — wants to go on record to deny one African-American for being seated in the U.S. Senate."

So the only reason Burris should be seated is that he's black? That's a fine political system you've envisioned.

Burris should be denied the seat, if only because he was dumb enough to accept it. He should then move into congressman Rush's district and run against him for Congress. It would be tough for Rush to attack him, since Rush has already said he should be in the Senate. And if the voters of his district are smart, they'll be looking for a way to get this guy gone.

I'm glad I'm not an Illinois Democrat. I hope they find a way to get these dickheads out of office, and put good people into office. Burris may be one of those good people, but taking office from a corrupt governor isn't the way to go.

Your Angry and Vulgar leader.

P.S. If you aren't from the Twin Cities, you may have never heard the bit that my post title comes from. It's here, and certainly is not safe for work. Enjoy!

Put One Foot On The Trunk, Keep One Foot On The Floor

Jon Swift is the best conservative writer on the internet. I think everyone knows this. So it is an honor that he gives us 9th tier "bloggers" a bone at the end of the year with his "Best Blog Posts of 2008 (As Choosen By The Bloggers Themselves)."

My submission was an attempt to out-Spotty Spotty by taking on a Katherine Kersten column on video games. It seems almost bittersweet to read it now that she's been shit-canned.

Last year, the submissions were alphabetical by blog, putting mine near the top. Unfortunately, alphabetical listing "required constantly consulting the alphabet," so this year he listed them in the order they were received. Since I pored over my blog looking for that post with just the right mix of meaning and humor, I got in late, so I'm down near the bottom. Oh, well.

I suggest checking out the list and reading a few of the blogs. Many are pretty damn good.

Your Better Than 10th Tier leader.

PLAYOFFS!!!!!!!! (Vikings 10-6; NFC North Champions)

Vikings win! They don't call him Longwell for nothing. Six of six from 50 yards and beyond this year.

I predicted 9-7 and in the playoffs earlier this year. Considering the Giants played mostly backups in the 2nd half, I'll call that a successful prediction. We'll see who they get in round one. At home.

And AP only fumbled once today. I call that improvement ... I guess.

Your SKOL VIKINGS!!!!!!!!!! leader.

Merry X-Mas!

MERRY
X-MAS!!

Bonus: "Why Christmas Is Better Than Hanukkah" by Marty Beckerman. (Standard Disclaimer: It's by Marty, so as always it's extremely offensive)

Threw My Back Out Whackin' That Ass Now (Vikings 9-6)

Yeah, so that was the Vikings. My elder family members kept reminding me not to get my hopes up. I guess they're right. At least the Giants pulled off the win last night.

If history was controlled by the BCS.

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

Computers be damned; Any country can win on any given D-Day.

So, I've been a Minneapolis cop for just over 2 years. Well, crime has dopped in Minneapolis for the past 2 years. Post hoc, ergo propter hoc. (Which, of course, means after hoc, therefore something else hoc) (via Chris)

I think I deserve a raise, don't you?

Your (I can't believe I'm writing this) Go, Pack, Go! leader.

Back To The Water (Vikings 8-5)

A tight victory for the Vikes. My prediction wasn't as good as it might have seemed since I predicted that the Lions would score negative 20 points. While I was later informed that this was impossible, I stuck by my prediction.

Even more interesting was the postgame coverage on Fox. Apparently Visanthe let his Shiancoe loose on national TV. Not that it was his fault, but expect Fox to be fined billions of dollars. I'm guessing letting a penis on television has to be worse than a breast with a covered nipple.

My happiness for the win was tempered a bit when I found out that KSTP radio fired Tommy Mischke. He was the most interesting and original person on radio. Listen to the clips at the end of the story to hear how different he really was. When you're done, check out Mischke Madness to hear more. Then bombard AM 1500 with requests to get the man back. We shouldn't let talent like this go without a fight.

Oh, and it's The Affiliate's and my sextemberversary. I made that word up. She prefers semi-anniversary. I like mine better. Anyway, we've been married for six months. Yay, us!

Your Broadcast Outcast leader.

BANNED!!!!11!1!

Well, I guess the season is over. Most teams don't survive losing their 3rd and 4th best defensive players (Allen and Winfield are the best two, but Winfield's impact is lower than the Williams Wall). And "I didn't know!" is rarely a good excuse.

On the other hand, I still predict a 24-7 victory over Detroit on Sunday.

Your Loss leader.

*UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Apparently "justice doesn't work that way." The Williams Wall will be on the field this weekend. I now predict a 24 to -20 victory. I also expect Pat Williams to have put on a bit of weight since he can't use his weight loss pills anymore.