Wednesday, May 27, 2009

No More Building Up; It Is Time To Dissolve

The California Supreme Court upheld "Proposition 8," a constitutional amendment defining marriage as between one man and one woman. While I whole-heartedly support gay marriage, the decision was legally correct. Opponents were in the undesirable position of arguing that the Constitution was itself unconstitutional. I'd imagine that the 18,000 or so marriages that were not annulled ex post facto, along with the increasing gay mariages in more progressive states like (wait, seriously?) Iowa, will show reasonable people that there's nothing to fear from gay marriage. Unreasonable folks, of course, will never be persuaded, because they're nuts.

Another city that didn't make the Top 10 Places To Live is Cleveland. The city has released a video to prove they deserve to be on the list. (NSFW)

There's a second video attempt as well

In a shocking twist, Joe Soucheray doesn't like Twitter. Bet you didn't see that one coming.

If you're bringing your 12 year-old son drinking with you so he can drive you home, you might want to take a look at your drinking.


Your Girebra leader.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Memorial Day 2009

Thank you to all of our armed service members, past and present.

Friday, May 22, 2009

It's The Time Of The Season For Loving

I've pulled the glass sliver from my foot, and I'm ready to go. (Actually, a co-worker pulled it out, for which I'm very greatful.) Things could always be worse. Please be very careful riding your bikes, and for Hastur's sake quit riding the wrong way down the street!

Everyone's talking about Boston PD using Twitter to tell people if there's a zombie invasion. I don't buy it. There's no need to create panic just because one cop got bitten by a zombie. In fact, it would be irresponsible to tell people about an isolated zombie attack, as it would cause a huge panic. Plus, Beth Israel in Boston has the antidote. I'm told I'm not supposed to talk about the antidote nothing at all. (Thanks to MnObserver for the link)

Anyway, Boston zombies would include some of the great minds of American history, so I wish the Boston PD luck.

I'm not sure what this video is supposed to mean, but the answer is, "Yes, I do like boobs a lot."

He's sorry he said it, but I'm sure he meant it. Metaphorically, of course. Politicians and cops are natural enemies forced to work together, like peanut butter and jelly.

The Twins don't seem to get the concept of the 9 inning game. You only need one more run that the other team. You can't carry over the other 18 runs into any other games. On the other hand, let Joe Mauer keep doing what he's doing.

And though I'm sure they don't need it from me, a quick link to The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe, a fabulous podcast about science.

Your New Windows leader.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Ich Wär So Gerne Millionär

Do you speak German? You could live in 7 of the Top 10 Best Places to Live. Here's the list:

1. Vienna
2. Zürich
3. Geneva
4. (tie) Vancouver, Canada
4. (tie) Auckland, New Zealand
6. Düsseldorf, Germany
7. Munich
8. Frankfurt
9. Bern, Switzerland
10. Sydney

Honolulu is the top rated U.S. city, at number 29.

Obviously cost of living isn't a big part of the rankings.

Of course, if I could get paid to lay in bed and drink coffee, maybe I'd be able to afford it.

And here's the reason Cincinatti wasn't in the top 10. Apparently city officials think a mannequin outside a BBQ join was just a little too sexy. Yes, the owners were forced to dress a hunk of plastic more conservatively. God bless America!

Your Blue Danube leader.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Bitter Green, They Called Her (Top 11 Edition)

Damn you, Gordon Lightfoot. Your infectious folk stylings have taken over my brain and I can think of no one else's music when it comes to post titles.

Maturity in action. Yes, the Republican National Committee might decide to start refering to the Democratic Party as the "Democrat Socialist Party." Neener, neener, indeed.

I coming off a court win today, so I'm feeling a bit whimsical. So in the tradition of many, including these folks, I present:

The Top 11 Other Insulting Names the RNC Could Call The Democratic Party

11) The Democra Party
10) The Party of "Scrubs" - Starring Zach Braff, Donald Faison, Sarah Chalke and John C. McGinley
9) Poopyheads and Communists Party
8) The Permanent Majority Party
7) Nazi Party II
6) French
5) The Spicy Mustard Party
4) The Elite Party
3) The Intellectual Party
2) The OMG UR SO GHEY!!!!!!!!1111!111! Party

And the most insulting thing the RNC could call democrats:

1) The Republican Party

Eh, that's not so hard.

The RNC should be cautious. They may inadvertently give the actual Democratic Socialist Party majority status.

Your Guilty Plea leader.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

I'm Stuck Here On The Ground, As Cold And Drunk As I Can Be

Today's post title was inspired by this and the fact that it's 4 AM and pouring outside.

You might have noticed my Twitter feed in the right column. If you've been reading it (and seriously, why?), you might have seen mention of "Ice Tea Guy." Let me explain. No, there is too much; let me sum up. Um, never mind, I'll explain the whole thing.

The other day, I showed The Affiliate this picture:

She looked confused. She didn't get it. I said, "Who's the guy in the picture?" She said, "That's the Iced Tea Guy, right?"

That is, of course, The Kool-Aid Man.

She then tried to backpedal. "I mean the Hi-C Guy." Still, wrong, of course, but at least she was guessing something name-brand. She finally figured it out. Give her some credit. She just got her MBA, and is allowed to not know things as useless as this.

I finally got to the point as to why this picture is, indeed, win. Kool-Aid Man is well known for breaking through walls and yelling, "OH, YEAH!". Someone found an actual broken wall and had the presence of mind to put up this picture and photograph it. Whomever you are, I salute you!

Anyway, I've decided that Iced Tea Guy would not break through walls. Instead, he would come calmly through the door, and yell his catchphrase, "INDEED!" And that's Iced Tea Guy.

So that's some time you won't get back. Time lost. And every second lost brings us all closer to the coming zombie apocalypse. (You just got segued!)

The Chicago Tribune seems to be taking it lightly
. (Link via a Norwegian) If you want serious coverage, stick with me. Or with these guys. Unfortunately, the Zombie Attack Preparedness Team shares it's initials with Zombies Are People Too (No link, because they're not). The good Z.A.P.T. (that's the zombie fighting one) was featured on an interesting G4 TV show and looked like they really had the goods. And guns.

Oh, I almost forgot. Iced Tea Guy has a sidekick named Lemonade Dude.

A legitimate update to a story that baffled and amused me while back. They caught the gorilla head bandits! Once again, idiots were brought down by the massive secret police operation that is YouTube.

Did I say massive secret police organization? I meant colossal clandestine constabulary cabal. (I didn't originally mean for that to be alliterative; it just happened.) (Also, that four word phrase has never appeared on the internet before today.)

Your Early Morning Rain leader.

Saturday, May 02, 2009

We Couldn't Get Much Higher

There are things in this world I wish I had written. Poe's The Telltale Heart, Stephen King's Survivor Type. The entire run of "Sports Night" and Ike Reilly's first 2 albums come to mind. I'll add this to the list.

May Day was an interesting day for this story to come out. I just can't figure out how the NLRB doesn't come to this conclusion more often.

The Baby Jesus is back! (That's a Joe Mauer reference, in case you thought I'd gone mad.)

Good day to you all!

Your "Joey Cupcake" Is Also An Acceptable Nickname leader.

Friday, May 01, 2009



I love you and am very proud of you.

This is a cat video just for you.