Appleton police said residents should be on the lookout for a gorilla head.OK, that's a great start.
Police said someone took the head off a 6-foot mechanical gorilla mannequin in the parking lot of Balloon Magic. It disappeared between 10 a.m. Thursday and 9 a.m. Friday.Where can I get my own mechanical gorilla mannequin? Unfortunately, a google search for "mechanical gorilla mannequin" leads mostly to this story, along with an episode list for "Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction" that includes an episode in which a mechanical gorilla goes on a rampage. Which may be why the head was stolen from this gorilla.
Oh, but the best part of the story:
The gorilla advertises the fact the business offers gorilla-grams — a gorilla delivering a message along with balloons.This is the best service offered by any business ever. However, I'm guessing it's a person in a gorilla costume, not an actual gorilla, that delivers the message. Gorillas would demand a union, making them cost-prohibitive.
Anyway, the cops should be checking fraternities at Lawrence University for the goods. This sounds like a good pledge prank.
In personal news, my big toe feels like it's broken. I think I might have gout. More on this developing story as it develops.
Your Ow, Ow, OW! leader.