Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Disappointed Man, Where've You Been?

Ladies and Gentlemen ... we don't got him. I don't worry. They've got T-Ja ... Sage Rosenf ... John David Boo ... OK, they're screwed. At least they signed Antoine Winfield. Had the Vikings not signed him, he might have signed with Green Bay, Chicago or Det ... He might have signed with the Packers or the Bears.

Crack is whack.

Best Headline Ever: Snakes Escape From Man's Pants, Cause SUV To Crash

You're welcome.

Your QB Controversy leader.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

As I Was Walking Down The Street One Day

I'd like to take a moment to thank Jeff for completely destroying my evening by linking to (DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK) TV Tropes. I must tell you in no uncertain terms that clicking that link will destroy anything else you were planning to do today, and possibly the rest of the month. DO NOT CLICK the link unless you have 40-50 free hours to devote to reading about cliche and plot elements.

Jeff, I hope your next check to pay for your website gets so lost in the mail that you are never allowed to post your life-sucking linkage ever again.

(Sure, I could blame xkcd, but I'm pretty sure Randall Monroe could have me killed. Not that he ever would, but still.)

Your Out Of Time leader.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

I'm Just A Soul Whose Intentions Are Good

I wasn't expecting a torrential downpour as I walked out of the club after working out tonight. (I'm down 15 lbs., by the way.) I guess it's a good thing. Although I saw several sprinklers working hard to water the grass while the rain poured. I'm not irked that much by sprinklers running in the rain. The water is being replenished at the same time. Now, sprinklers that somehow end up aimed directly into the street bug the hell out of me.

Centrum Silver has a new ad campaign for it's Men's vitamins. They are just a little sexist. I'm not talking women in tight clothing and sexist poses. The commercials are pointing out that the viamins are for "just for men." The two ads I've seen also suggest the following things are "just for men:" Golf, television, watches and steak or possibly hamburgers (that one was on the radio). Putting aside the fact that studies show multi-vitaimins don't work, and might actually be bad for you, can we stop pretending these are things that are only liked by men? I hate golf, my wife loves steak more than I do, and TV just a little less, and, the Chicago song notwithstanding, I'm pretty sure everyone likes to know what time it is.

There's a TV show suggestion I've been meaning to make. "Better Off Ted," on ABC. Despite the stupid name, it's a pretty funny show. Jay Harrington charismatically plays Ted, a good guy who is head of R&D at the cartoonishly evil company Veridian Dynamics. (Click the link. It's indicitive of the humor in the show.) His boss, played wonderfully by Portia de Rossi, is a strong businesswoman with no empathy or ability to interact with other people on a personal level. There are plenty of quirky characters, like the research scientists who seem to venerate Ted. The products created also lead to plenty of humor (A hair replacement product ends up making a desk grow hair). The company's poor treatment of the employees is also often played for laughs, although we're not talking Dilbert here. We're talking freezing people in cryogenic chambers.

The humor is similar to "Scrubs" without the fantasy sequences. There are only a few episodes left this summer, but it's worth checking out.

Of course, if you like vampires, "True Blood" is a superior product to "Twilight," and also on HBO, "Hung" looks pretty promising so far. And of course, "The State" is out on DVD in case you forgot to go buy it.

Finally, I watched the movie "Waiting ..." tonight. It was fine, but it gets extra points for having a character point at Dane Cook and call him the worst person ever.

Your Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood leader.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

And Sitting In The Chair Is You

Walter Cronkite, R.I.P. He was well before my time, but I've seen enough old news footage for him to be stamped in my memory.

Wisconsin is a crazy state. I'm guessing Cronkite never had to announce that someone crashed the Weinermobile into a house.

So that happened.

Even thieves think it's a good idea for you to lock your car
. Something is wrong in that story, though. If his music taste was so good, why leave the CDs behind?

If you're an uggo, stay out of Chicago.

That's enough midwestern weirdness for today.

As you may have seen to the right, I got a Palm Pre. As of today, I'm loving it. As I learn more things I can do with it, I assume I'll love it more. There's no special Blogger ap yet, but I'm hoping.

On the down side of technology, my car adapter for my iPod broke. It wasn't perfect, but I was able to listen to my iPod in the car pretty much everywhere. My new adapter, on the other hand, seems to only work regularly outside of the metro area. It makes no sense. The new one is the same brand as the old one. Isn't technology supposed to improve over time? I'd think that in two years the transmission would improve, not diminish. I'm not happy with Griffin.

Have a good weekend. Hopefully the weather feels more like July, instead of October.

Your "And That's The Way It Is" leader.

Monday, July 13, 2009

She's My Final Fantasy

A long overdue ode to female gamers who work at game stores.

Thank you Parry. Olivia and Kevin, you rock! AOTS forever, bitches!

Sunday, July 05, 2009

The Scene At the Graveyard, Just Three Of Us Were There

If you don't recognize sex screams, U R doin' it wrong. At least the headline didn't say they "beat the man off."

And now, sad news.

We hardly knew ye.

(Pic via Hardwick, whom you should follow on Twitter and watch on G4)

Of course, an unsuccessful run for president can be stressful, and Bacon's already clogged arteries just couldn't handle the pressure.

We'll always remember you, Bacon. Why not bacon up this website just one last time.

Your Maple Smoked leader.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

What So Proudly We Hail

Happy Independence Day!

Everyone enjoy your fireworks and hot dogs and samboussa. Please remember to say thanks to the people out there keeping you safe.

Of course, Sarah Palin has a load off of her shoulders this 4th of July. There are those who think she is gearing up for a presidential run. For her sake, I hope she's not. I mean, she's quitting in the middle of her term. If she were to be elected President, what's to say she wouldn't quit in 2014 to run for Prime Minister of the Innermost Planets Alliance (which will exist by then)?

My guess is she'll write a best-seller and fade into the private sector.

As for fireworks, just don't do this:

Fireworks and a guy getting hit in the crotch. How can you not love America?

Your Rockets' Red Glare leader.