This may be the most personal post I've ever made, because I am drunk out of my mind. See, it was The Affiliate's brother's 21st birthday tonight. She managed to down 6 Smirnoff Ices. I had four beers and an unknown amount of Johnny Walker Black. (My guess is 7 shots)
1. I smoked a cigarette last night. Don't tell the Affiliate.
2. If I were single, I would probably hit on her brother's girlfriend.
3. The Affiliate's brother's girlfriend is not hotter than The Affilate.
4. I feel really old amongst 19-22 year-old kids. However, they are interested enough in a cop to not be creeped out by a 28 year old guy.
5. I just might be the luckiest nerd on the face of the Earth.
Danielle, I love you. Thank you for agreeing to marry me
Your Seriously, I Might Pass Out leader.
P.S. This post has been approved by my fat-ass cat, Vladimir. A.K.A. The Hillock
P.P.S. I can't stop hiccuping. Kill me, please.