OK, note to the Pioneer Press: Your website sucks. Your links don't work. Your category listings' links all just lead to the front page. I'd really rather link to you, but I can't, because I can't find the stories I want. The Internet is important to your readers under the age of 40. Also, "Twin Cities.com" needs to go. You're the Pioneer Press. Let's not shy away from the name.
Last night, I was wondering why that dog was at the 331 Club with a video camera strapped to his collar. Now I know why:
Please know that the guy in the Santa hat was quite drunk when trying to sing an X-mas carol from the far future.
Mitt "My Dad Marched With MLK (OK, Not Really, But Wouldn't It Be Great If He Had?)" Romney tries to backpedal.
"If you look at the literature, if you look at the dictionary, the term 'saw' includes being aware of in the sense I've described," Romney told reporters in Iowa. "It's a figure of speech and very familiar, and it's very common. And I saw my dad march with Martin Luther King. I did not see it with my own eyes, but I saw him in the sense of being aware of his participation in that great effort."
What the hell does that even mean? You know, I "saw" all four of the Vikings Super Bowl losses. And by that I mean that I am aware that they lost four Super Bowls. See how that works? What a schmuck.
Ah, is there anything better than the excitement and trepidation of Cephalopodmas Eve? The Hillock says, "No."
(Yes, it's a picture from last year. It's the idea that counts, right, Mitt?)
Everything you know is wrong.
Your "Thousands Of Years Ago" leader.