Friday Fake Product Blog

For anyone who likes to drink liberally.

The Tick-Tock of the Clock is Painful

Kevin-M has broken into my mind and stolen my wedding plans. He wrote it better than I ever could, anyway.

How 'bout those Minnesota football Gophers. They pulled off thrilling 10-9 victory against the Bison of ... wait for it ... North Dakota State University. Were you to do a little research, you might notice that the Thundering Herd is a Division I-AA team. Which is a lot like the varsity team barely beating the JV squad. At this point, I'm assuming that Glen Mason has pictures of Joel Maturi in bed with a dead woman and a live boy, as well as several breeds of livestock and birds. How else Mason keeps his job eludes me.

Like LappDogg said, if the Gophers' line is less than 40 points next week, take your life savings, fly to Las Vegas and bet everything on #1 The Ohio State University. The Buckeyes will cover easily.

Your Underdog leader.

I Can't See Nothin' Round Here

Despite what the KQ morning show may say, I don't find Michelle Bachmann attractive. So I've decided not to embed this video.

She's a fool. That's not my opinon. She says it several times right in the speech. Now I'm not a fan of Patty Wetterling, and I wish she'd quit making stuff up about Bachmann (There are so many true things to attack), but for god's sake, we can't elect Bachmann. I'm begging you folks north and east of the metro to vote for someone else.

Speaking of campaign ads, KARE11 had a shocking expose last week: There are misleading attack ads being aired! Right during this very newscast!

A better use of those 4 minutes would have been to explain why the ads were misleading. A better idea might be to refuse to air ads that have demonstrable lies in them. But that doesn't make money now, does it? We need more outfits like FactCheck, especially at the local level. Truely non-partisan, they just take statements and ads and explain how they are misleading or right-out lies.

I wish I were bright enough to setsomethng like this up (or at least to have invented YouTube), but since I'm not, I'm just going to bitch a moan like a good Democrat.

Your Truth In Advertising leader.

We're Just Livin' This Way 'Cause We Know No Other

An unfortunate misunderstanding has left me stranded alone in McGregor, MN. It's just as well. I had planned on taking a week of vacation to come here to my folks place in January while they were on a cruise. That was before I got a new job, which leaves me unable to vacation this January. So I'll spend a night alone here in the cold. It's a really beautiful place, and I'm not at all bothered. Perhaps some links (and a glass of amaretto) will warm me up.

An as-of-yet unfinished documentry about The 101st Fighting Keyboards has surfaced. (via Fecke). If you know anything about the history of blogging, it's a must. Of course, if you're a member of the right-wing blog-o-sphere, you probably won't be amused.

Apparently Robert Anton Wilson, co-author of the Greatest Conspiricy Story Ever Told, is ill. Being the DiscordianStooge that I am, this vexes me. Being part Klingon, (on my mother's side) I say, "May he die well."

A literal war against drugs. (via Beckerman)

This is a break while I read more blogs so I can find stories to link to.

Nothing. OK, then, a video may be best for my drunken state.



I gave up on MadTV a long time ago. It was funny when it started, but quickly became a parody of itself, which is only funny if you've been on as long as Saturday Night Live (which unfortunately hasn't realized this). After seeing this, I'm thinking maybe I should try MadTV again.

Your Alone Up North leader.

If You Should Smile When You Hear My Name

OK. The Twins are done. That's OK. Really. I'm not at all depressed by their completely worthless play in the playoffs. Really. At least I've got Gopher foot... um the Vik... um, Gopher hock... damn it!!

I went out drinking with some of my new co-workers last night. I stuck around most of the night to see if anyone would be picking up a hottie for the night. Alas, they all failed. This was new for me, as I'm not the picking up women at bars type, nor are my friends. I used to pick up women at weddings.

The Affiliate has reminded me that the Wild have a chance not to suck this year. Go Hockey!

David Strom (Motto: "I must laugh as loud as possible at everything I say! HA HA HAW!") is back on The Patriot after a brief stint at another local station. Apparently it was cheaper for the Tax Evader's League to pay for a show on AM1280 than a Clear Channel station. Let's hope that 1280 is getting more cash than they were before Strom left to air his virtually unlistenable show. Could this be a ploy to make the Right-Wing Blogger Circle-jerk show sound even more professional?

Your Minnesota Sports leader.

We're Gonna Win Twins!

OK. The MLB season is over. Let's see how the predictions went.

Twins Win Division: 46 winners.
Tie Breakers: Correct Record: 15 winners.
Detroit Takes 2nd Place: 3 winners.

Final tie-breaker: When will the Twins clinch?

Hmm... "The Twins will drop 2 games before beating the White Sox. Meanwhile, Detroit will be swept, including blowing a 6 run lead in the final game to the worst team to ever play baseball, the Royals, and lose 10-8 in 12 innings."

Damn you, Bob from the Future.

Anyway, since the Vikings seem to not know what offense is (despite playing in an offensive manner), I'm going to revel in the Twins' supremacy for a while.

Also, I fell out of a tree trying to repair a hunting stand on Saturday. I'm OK, though. Not much else is going on. I'm just working and polishing boots and ironing a lot.

Check out "Standoff" on Fox when baseball playoff are over. It's pretty good.

See ya.

Your Falling leader.