Thursday, August 16, 2007

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Something

It's summer. The birds are singing, the bees are trying to have sex with them (as is my understanding). So maybe I can be forgiven for being caught unawares by this letter, which was delivered to me in the dark of night by a cloaked rider astride a fire breathing horse. (h/t to Jeff)

Talk about a sneak attack. Will the right be prepared for us? No chance. An early strike is just the thing we need to make the putative 90% of Americans who are Xtians question their deeply held beliefs. Jesus blowing a Unicorn? Brilliant! Even the strongest faith will be shattered by that. If not, then saying Happy Holidays will certainly finish them off.

Of course, my War on Xmas decorations are still in the basement gathering cobwebs. Santa Cthulhu Itself lies dreaming in R'yleh (under my stairs). It is August, after all.

Considering that I am not on the receiving end of any of that Soros money (or cupcakes), I'm going to let the paid sock-puppets start the early work. I'm more of a guerrilla fighter in this war. Although I do go by the title "generalissimo." Look for me come November, after I've finished my Satan worshiping at Samhain.

Fine. My opening salvo. To Bill O'Reilly, I wish Happy Holidays and prospero año. (see, it's Happy Holidays, which Bill hates, and then Spanish, which Bill also hates).

Your Unpaid leader.


CarrieICL said...

Does this mean I should be getting my Rudolph-on-a-noose decoration out of storage?

DAV said...

Yeah my wife and I are trying to concieve. It gets kinda weird with all the honey and feathers and what not.

Swiftee said...

Good luck DAV, but from the looks of thingsyou're going to have to get a better understanding of the concept of conception.

D-Stool, I'm wondering if you have any sense of how amusing to me it is to see you post a "satirical" jab at a "right wing meme"..and then watch you enthusiastically jump into action to bring it to life.

We call that "sweet irony" out here in the real world.

DAV said...

I think we should refer to "Swiftee" as "Methee" from mnow on.

Anonymous said...

You don't get to refer to me as anything "DAV". You are just another moonbat pelt hanging on my sidebar trophy just hang there and STFU.

DAV said...

Sounds like the rumours are true, then.

Swiftee said...

Uh yeah, sure, whatever you say "DAV".

DiscordianStooge said...

Swiftee, I don't have any idea how amusing it is to you. You didn't write "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" like you usually do. I also don't see the words "satirical" or "right-wing meme" in my post, so they are weird words to have quoted in your reply. In fact, I don't think I've written "right-wing meme" before in my life.

As I've often said, I like Christmas. I celebrate Christmas. I happen to think it can survive a little fun. So how is making fun of Billy O's hysteria over Christmas ironic?

Joe Erjavec said...

Hey discordian stooge,

I checked out your blog last year, and I decided to check again. (I'm curious for folks' "food on a stick" postings with the Fair starting this week.)

Anyways, I thought this was very funny!