Now It's Time To Say What I Forgot To Say

Worried you might have swine flu? Click here to find out. (via The Affiliate)

And they've found Patient Zero. (via Norwegianity)

MN Senate approves medical marijuana. This is a good thing. Of course, Gov. Pawlenty (R) will veto this. Note the "R." The party that is so afraid of the government getting involved in medical decisions vis-a-vis single-payer health care has no problem telling doctors what they can and can't prescribe right now.

Girl beats back muggers with baton. Hey, Flash, is this normal marching band training?

Cecil answers the hard hitting questions of our time, like, "Are women's breasts getting bigger?"

Your I Certainly Hope So leader.

You Don't Have To Pray To A Little Tin God

God can't protect you from swine flu. This one's new. Apparently if you're sick, the RC Church doesn't want you coming around. Probably because you're a sinner and will infect the righteous. If you really believed, you wouldn't get sick, right?

At least Obama was able to start the flu to get his HHS Secretary confirmed. Why hasn't Michele Bachmann picked this up yet?

Because she's busy making a link (but not really) between the Obama swine flu and the Jimmy Carter Gerald Ford swine flu. (Oops.) And a link between pedophiles and gays. And changing the general make-up of Earth's atmosphere.

Michele Bachmann is a standard-bearer for the conservative movement. Still.

Here's someone making the north metro proud. (UPDATE: Link fixed) This is a favorite label of mine "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer. Fridley isn't in Bachmann's district, by the way.

IBM has apparently never heard of Skynet. A robot loaded with all human knowledge would be inherently dangerous. Add some lasers and a chain saw and we're all doomed.

Your "This Post For External Use Only" leader.

Drummer Wanted, Call ...

I just finished a solid Rock Band party, and I've been drinking heavily. I will say I dominated "Electric Version" by The New Pornographers on drums, and "Time We Had" by The Mother Hips on vocals, on which I earned Gold Stars. Anyway, to the point of the post.

There's a band called Goldfinger. They were a top-notch ska-punk band back in the 90's, came out with a few more rock than ska albums, then suddenly went downhill about the time the lead singer went vegetarian. Anyway, their debut album included on of the band members making a prank phone call in response to an ad in the local newspaper. It went a little something like this ...



Your "Dude ... Fuck That!" leader

Which One Will You Skate Away On?

Spring is here!

I checked my paycheck today, and clearly the Tea Parties worked. I couldn't find that massive Obama tax increase anywhere.

If you're having a bad day, this site will make you feel better. There's nothing like reading about the misfortune of others. Schadenfreude, you say? Man, those Germans have a word for everything. (c. Homer Simpson.)

If you're looking for the funny, look no further than Teknikal Diffikulties. Spelling aside, this is simply exquisite. Cayenne Chris Conroy manages to put together weekly old-time radio style comedy shows by himself. He writes, performs and produces the whole thing. His is a dry wit, and nerdy as hell, but it's funny. Go back and check out "The Account," a serial show about a journey through what he calls "The Waking World," a world where the familiar is mixed in with the fantastic. I'm still slogging through the extensive archives, and loving every minute of it. Hell, even the guy's updates are entertaining.

Michigan mayor demands ticket. The guy got a warning for 45 in a 40 MPH zone. He demanded a ticket to avoid favoritism. That's pretty cool. If I were him, I'd take it to court just for the irony.

Finally, there's "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies." I was going to just try and ignore this, but someone just wouldn't let me. Seriously, I know nothing about literature, so I can't even fake my way through a joke here. Zombies are bad. That is all.

Your Lost For Words leader.

Recap of Last Year

It's Zombie Jesus Day.

Take precautions.

Dave Arneson 1947-2009

He died today of cancer. He seemed to be the catalyst that changed a historical war game into a fantasy war game. He also had to fight for the recognition he deserved.

Nerds mourn again today.

Your D12 leader.

I've Been Taken For Lost And Gone And Unknown

A quick salute to the crew that took back a ship captured by pirates. Let them all know that Americans are not targets. Now let's get the captain back.

Entertainment Weekly recently listed their top 20 heroes and villains from film. James Bond topped the heroes list, and while he'd certainly top my Top 20 Ids list, I'm OK with him as top hero. It was the villain list that bothered me.

The Wicked Witch of the West was number 1. Really? Let's make a list. Pro - Flying monkies. Con - Defeated by the most abundant substance on Earth. I mean, sure, she's evil and all, but The Terminator can take a direct hit from a rocket launcher. The Witch can't even take a shower.

Darth Vader came in number 2. I'm with that. He chokes people with his mind. Yeah, Episode 3 made him look like a bit of a pansy, but there will never be a Broadway musical about how Vader was simply misunderstood and was really the good guy.

Of course, my pick for #1 villain in film is The Devil. The Exorcist. The Omen. Rosemary's Baby. The Devil Wears Prada. OK, that last one's not right, but Old Scratch is a far superior bad guy than most. To paraphrase Homer Simpson, Satan is my favorite fictional character.

Your Top 5 Track leader.

Officer Down

Three cops are dead in Pittsburgh. The shooter was reportedly afraid Obama was going to take his guns. Why would he possibly think that? His friends described him as "a young man who thought the Obama administration would ban guns." Wow. Usually they go with, "He was quiet. Seemed like a nice guy."

At least he wasn't able to kill himself like most of these cowards. Of course, he'll probably use the "Obama Derangement" defense and get off. Any conservative on the jury would vote to acquit a guy defending his guns, right?

Put The Fake Goatee On

So last night The Hillock threw up all of his food and then started wobbling around the kitchen. After he walked into the wall, we realized he was having a bigger problem, so we gave him something to eat. For the first time ever, he wouldn't eat. Then he fell down.

After a quick consultation with Dr. SIL, we rushed him to an emergency all-night vet. (I wanted to just give him Skittles, but she said no.) He peed on The Affiliate on the way there. It turns out his blood sugar was 33. At around 30 seizures and coma set in.

Well, the doctors got his sugar up, and wanted him to stay all night. We love The Hillock, but $1,000 is a lot to spend on an old diabetic cat. We decided to take the chance bringing him home and keeping an eye on him.

I had to feed him every 1/2 hour. For the first time in a while, he didn't eat every scrap of food put out for him and beg for more. I think even he was saying, "Seriously, I'm not hungry anymore." But he made it through the night.

The vet today said he'll be fine, and has been getting too much insulin. He was actually feistier than he's been in a while when I picked him up.

Anyway, we discovered that limit of what we'll pay to save our pet. At least one as old and sick as The Hillock. But I don't think it will be an issue for a while.

In other news ...

Have you ever seen anything this horrific? Well, it may look worse than this guy, but I fear the bee much more.

This is something.

This is not.

And it is not November ... yet.

Your Nothing leader.

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